a hazy day today

Take Me To The Go Go

2010-09-17T15:24:00.003Z

I am breaking a bit of a terribly remiss and lacklustre blogsilence to self promote. Shock! Horror! Gasp! Yawn!

Do you like punk music? Do you like silliness? Do you remember seeing this and liking it?

Fancy donating to help get a documentary series made?
Then click here:

We need more money to continue and expand the taster film in order to pitch to US broadcasters.

Thank you - and if you really love it that much you can also become a fan here:

Ta ra for now and thank you for coming by.

And if you are really really bored you can go here: Listen With Rockmother podcasts

Oh yes!

Real Stories From The Underground

2010-08-10T09:21:00.007Z

I do bad things on the tube.

I take pictures of people when they aren't looking and sometimes write about them - bullet notes in the back of my notebook like this:

Sitting next to a boy desperately coating himself in Allure Pour Homme as if his life depended on it. Mad US tourists with bottoms like wobbly half-filled water bags cramming in and shouting "one stop" to their party. Walk you fools!

Exasperated camp man in a bright green polo shirt has flumped next to me in a huff. I can see his tummy. His shirt doesn't fit which mirrors his manner in a funny but awkward way. He is reading the list of ingredients on a jar of marmalade.

Today is an odd day on the tube.

Anyway this is all by way of saying that my dedicated Tube Tales site now has a new home HERE.

Enjoy.

All Things Can But Not Neccesarily Should

2010-07-14T12:38:00.007Z

Never before has food been quite so contentious and disgusting.

Ladies and Gentlemen - I give you - The Lasagnwich! The Lasagnwhat? You heard!

Suddenly there is temptation to start speaking like Peter Kay and walking around shouting and pointing in mock disbelief:

"Lasagnnnnwich"?

"Lasagne! In a sandwich?"

"A sandwich ? With lasagne in it"?

Yes - with a mighty dollop of mayonnaise slathered in between both sides presumably to help the starch slip down with yet more fatty imbued starch I guess. It could be worse - it could be deep-fried? Or god forbid in a tin like this poor unfortunate and rather flaccid looking whole albino chicken covered in what looks like obstetric scan gel?

I dread to think what else comes from Sweet Sue's Kitchen - but perhaps I'll save that for another post. In my forays I did come across a whole tinned cheddar which when grated looked like maggots on a platter. Apparently it goes down a storm in Australia due to the lack of fridges. Again, mind boggles.

Anyway, back to sandwich's. Imagine if you could get a sandwich in a can? Pardon the pun but you can! Well you were going to before the inventor took the $153 million investment money and spent it all on real estate, fast cars and horses for himself.

Actually I think he has done the world a favour - these won't be seeing the light of day now until the fraud case has been decided. Candwichman will be eating a different sort of sandwich from now on and in a different and rather ironically named new home - the can!

Can you dig it?

Sayonara toodlepip children.

The Complaints Dept Is Open

2010-07-09T12:23:00.006Z

Goodness - it has been a long time. Seems that I have had a bit of a blogblock but am slowly overcoming it. Below is a bloody brilliant bit of complaining that my Dad has submitted to Jacky at the rather Kafa-esquely named Olympic Delivery Authority - Planning Decisions Team (what?):

In our time we have seen some vacuous bombast from Mr. Kapoor but this is literally astonishing in it's incoherence. The metallic surface/colour is that seen on pound shop flasks. It displays an utter lack of any indication of form/function/dynamic [see adjacent stadium & Thames basin light] and 'connecting' with the senses. The 'movement' of the whole - it's energy, is that of a coat-whirling lout drunk on cider at an Iron Maiden gig - circa 1980., or a Hammer Throw gone very, very, wrong.

Within the context of the site it looks as if a rogue scrap merchant has dumped this overnight, to despoil a site as would the worst of graffiti on a clean building. What is required is a clean simplicity that does reach for the stars - as does the 'Shard' . The very sight of the 'orbit' brings a shudder engendered by the worst of totalitarian monsters, the ethos of threat, oppression and thuggish dogma. Even the base entrance/platform is a dull hostile box - think 1950's army barracks. An accident that looks as if has already happened, or is delayed in time. It is vulgar to the point of insult.

It has no remarkable post-Olympic function such as a concert arena in the sky. Even though sheathed in it's lurid metallic lustre, being steel it will eat up maintainence funds when the east winds prevail October through April. I'm sorry, but we object and in the strongest terms possible. Thank you - JE.

Oooh Papa! Nay, nay and thrice nay!

Resisting The Urge

2010-05-02T14:33:00.007Z

I am off to see Iggy & The Stooges perform the whole of Raw Power as per the original 1973 line-up tonight. It will be strange not seeing Ron Asheton up there in his army jacket with his trademark stance of standing virtually still, dancing his elegant hands over the guitar strings and making an amazing sound like a cheesegrater being rubbed over the frets.

Even better the gig is at smelly old Hammersmith Apollo (nee Odeon) which has a bar that looks like it should be inhabited by extra's from Star Wars. I am so looking forward to this gig. But I am also trying very hard to resist the urge to dress like this:

or this:

I will probably end up going in something like this:

No not really!

Nice jacket.

Tube Tales

2010-03-07T15:18:00.009Z

I took pictures of people while they weren't looking on the tube home last night.

Specimen 1: Aussie girls going home after working restaurant shift:

Specimen 2: Italian couple talking Italian. She had trout lips and very expensive leather gloves and they were fascinated with a passenger who had a doughnut in a clear carrier bag:

Specimen 3: A very glam long-legged woman reading a catalogue trying not to laugh:

Specimen 4: A man reading the koran. He was with mates who weren't into what he was doing. He was also with his much younger brother who should have been in bed!

There is a picture I didn't take out of respect (but wanted to) on the way into town. A painfully thin and obviously dying man sitting next to an also painfully thin man off his face on very strong drugs. The contrast was startling. Both men dying but at very different rates and brought together in a totally random formation in a city of millions. Who would have thought that they would have ended up sitting next to each other - both I am sure on very separate personal journeys. On the one hand a terminally ill man having probably one of his last night's out with his partner. He looked so thin and weak. His new thin shoulders swamped and awkward under his old, healthily-shouldered overcoat. I looked down and his shoes were very new and hardly worn. Brown and plain but filled with the most magnificently pink socks. A hint to a vibrance of the soul that still lurked as the remainder was being cruelly sucked away. I wanted to congratulate him on his choice of socks but he looked like he didn't want anyone to see him. I wanted to ask if I could take a picture of his shoes and socks as I knew this said so much about him but didn't out of respect. When he got up I could see why the shoes didn't look worn. Each step was very light and the foot placed with the least pressure possible. I could see the effort for him to walk was extraordinary and as he left the carriage I wondered how much it must of been for him to dress himself that evening. I could see his live determination as if it were fizzing. I imagine he won't be able to do that very soon. The man in the pink socks. I wish him well.

Gank Genk Gink Gonk Gunk

2010-02-15T09:52:00.005Z

Hands up who had a gonk? Am I showing my age? What on earth possessed people to

(a) make these ?
(b) buy them ?
(c) collect them ?

I had a few - a turquoise fun fur one, a really ugly brown one that got bullied by the other gonks and my favourite one which was made of pale sugared-almond-pink rabbit fur. Actually it may have been baby kitten fur for all I know as it was handmade by my evil Nana. I had a nice 'Gran' and an evil 'Nana'. It was evil Nana that made me the gonks. I ended up getting quite bored of them and donated them to a really square girl who lived across the road from me called Rosemary. Rosemary had much older parents than mine and was really good. She never got into trouble and only ever wore skirts - and never dressed in anything unless it was static-inducing nylon.

She was always smiling despite the fact she never came out to play much or join in our mammoth riding up and down the street on our bikes sessions. I once invented a "Secret Spy Club" but didn't invite her to join because she was too boring and wouldn't bring biscuits to the meetings which was a proviso for joining. But quietly we were all a bit envious of Rosemary as she had a huuuge gonk collection and that was why we wanted to spy on her. The rumour went that she actually had a human size gonk amongst her 70-proud gonk collection but no one was ever allowed in to see them. Even after Rosemary had finally left home her mother said that she had kept her room as it was complete with full gonk collection. I am surprised she could get in it for all the gonks but there you go.

I always wondered what happened to Rosemary and her gonks.

Gil Scott-Heron Is Back! Update: free album preview.

2010-01-22T11:00:00.008Z

Update: a little freebie from those lovely people at XL - you can preview the whole of the new album here:
>

I was beginning to worry that Gil Scott-Heron was never coming back after another spell in prison and an ongoing battle with serious illness. Here is a preview of the first release off the forthcoming album out Feb 08 2010. Apparently on tour in the UK April - if they let him in the country (Gil leave the drugs at home)! Let's hope he does and they do. I think this is great.

Enjoy.

And don't forget to watch, rate, share Rockmother Films' Rat Scabies Grailhunter Teaser here
And if you love it that much you can become a fan here

And if you are still bored and desperate for something to do then whip out the ironing and load up
** Listen With Rockmother podcasts here **

Happy listening my little choux buns!

Banksy Goes To Sundance

2010-01-21T12:20:00.007Z

Here is the trailer for Banksy's forthcoming feature Exit Through The Gift Shop. Like it. Like it a lot.

And don't forget to watch, rate, share Rockmother Films' Rat Scabies Grailhunter Teaser here
And if you love it that much you can become a fan here

And remember kids...

Keep 'em peeled!

And if you are still bored and desperate for something to do then whip out the ironing and load up
** Listen With Rockmother podcasts here **

Ta ra chooks.

© Shameless Plug Promotions 2010

Rat Scabies Grailhunter!

2010-01-16T13:01:00.006Z

Yes - we've been a bit busy over the last few months over here at Romo Towers digging the wondrous Mr Rat Scabies out of his West London habitat and sending him off on a mission which so far has taken him from Folkestone to France and back. The culmination of which is this three minute teaser film for what hopefully will eventually become a series. So without further ado I give you...Rat Scabies Grailhunter!

Comments and feedback welcome.
Join the facebook fanpage here

All new New Year Listen With Rockmother podcast here:

and all other Listen With Rockmother archive shows here

Enjoy.

Get Me Some Of That Crazy Shit!

2010-01-13T23:18:00.002Z

Ladies and Gentelmen I give you....Hot Shito! No shit - does what it says on the tin.

All new New Year Listen With Rockmother podcast here:

and all other Listen With Rockmother archive shows here

And if you are still bored - here is Extreme Toboggan Fitness Rockmotherstyle:

(c) Sore Arse Productions

New Year New Podcast New Brain New Seekers New New Now That's What I Call No.25!

2010-01-01T22:40:00.011Z

Goodness gracious me - it's a New Year and a brand new podcast from The Rockmother. Yes I know - I almost fainted myself to be honest - mainly with the sheer effort of withstanding a 28 hour+ upload problem whilst preparing a New Years Eve meal and surviving an attack of pre-alzheimers to boot. There is a glaring error in this podcast - can you spot it? I'm off to order my trepanning kit because Father Christmas failed to bring me one this year - again.

Click HERE for latest LISTEN WITH ROCKMOTHER podcast. Or play here:

Ta ra chooks. And enjoooy.

An Ode To Motorhead and Lemmy. Class.

2009-12-16T23:50:00.009Z

Mes dames unt mein herres regard et ecoutes le fantastique Lemmy Kilminster in a great interview in er...c.1970, 80-something dealing most magnificently with a rather staid sounding journalist. (click link as embedding disabled!)

I have only ever seen Motorhead four times in my life - the first time was when I was 11 where my ears bled and I couldn't hear anything at school for the next week which was quite the best thing ever. At the gig me and my brothers turned to our Dad and shouted 'Daddeee, our ears really huuurt' We were told to stop moaning and put our fingers in our ears which we did for most of the show with a few goes of daring each other to take our fingers out at which point we would all scream and laugh because it felt like you were being hit by an express train of noise. Brilliant. Also especially brilliant was running around at the aftershow helping ourselves to everything while the adults got trashed. I then became a punk and decided I couldn't talk to or be seen with flare-wearing 'heavy metallers' - mainly pimplygeekboys with long dull mousy hair and cut off denim jackets with Journey and Motorhead patches sewn onto the back. Secretly I loved Ace of Spades which to me has always been more punk than metal but that's another story.

The other three gigs were much later in life and most recently the other week at timewarp Hammersmith Odeon. I mean the Apollo of course although it hasn't changed at all and is still the same old smelly, sticky, beery, dark Odeon. As I queued at the bar I could see a man and his no more than 10 or 11yr old son standing next to me. Thoughts of blimey I wonder what they are going to order? Two JD and Coke? ran through my mind. Surely not. Suddenly the Dad piped up:
"Two vanilla icecreams please". I love that. A great mix of traditional theatre interval snack coupled with unbelievably loud and proper rock and roll. What more could an 11 year old want?

Next I went in search of the Ladies. I didn't really need a wee - I just wanted to eavesdrop on possibly amusing fan talk. There was a woman queuing who was dressed in a big mega shiny polyester basque and was apparently following every UK show on the current tour. Staggering. She was moaning about how she had been in Southend earlier in the week, had to go up to Wolverhampton the next day and was really pissed off The Damned were on as support as it meant she might miss her last train home to Ipswich. Now that is a dedicated fan. Then she spent at least 12 mins trying to stop her 'blimming flyaway hair'. Jesus christ woman - we are at a gig - a Motorhead gig - it's dark, and sweaty, and loud - fuck the flyaway hair that would be long gone by the middle 8 of Bomber!

I missed Girlschool who were on before The Damned - mainly due to eavesdropping as above. I could hear the chugga chugga of their only hit I know which is the one they originally performed with Motorhead "Please Don't Touch". Top tune. Perhaps that is their only hit but I'm sure not. I did get very organised and make sure that I didn't miss The Damned who were on great form. It is the only time I have heard Dave Vanian sing brilliantly. Really. He was incredible. Monty Oxymoron was leaping about like an excited demented Magnus Pyke from the underworld and La Sensible was tight tight tight. All in all quite neat neat neat despite the naff gimmick of the Captain being pretend-pulled off stage for trying to sing Happy Talk as an encore.

Next the atmosphere shifted and suddenly it felt like iron filings were filling the air with their heavy metallic tension. Lots of big boom boom on the bass drum and wheeling large hangings into place. Premature cheering. Flashing green lights - that sort of thing. Suddenly a big cheeeer-rraaargghhh roar.

I saw the top of Lemmy's big stetson hat floating across the stage - at that point I had the tallest man with the fattest neck suddenly come and stand in front of me. Not great when you are 5'3". He moved (after I shouted "for fuck's sake" a little too loudly).

Lemmy's wonderfully raspy opening salvo was exactly this: Hello.
We are Motorhead and we play Rock and Fucking Roll.

(Vintage Top of Pops with Filthy Phil Taylor chewing gurning-gum madly)

And so they fugging do - brillliant vibrant rock and roll. Bomber, Rock With Your Cock Out, Metropolis, No Class, (Teach You How To) Sing the Blues were big highlights. I don't wholly get the whole proper metal thing really - Motorhead are more punk to me. I don't get the devil's hand point thing and I don't get the slightly overlong drum solo's impressive as they are. Leaping about yes - headbanging no - I just don't get it. The diehard fans love it and Motorhead love them back which is great. But what I do get is the noise (and the louder the better), the proper bluesy rock'n'roll chords and arrangements and the life of the rock and roller all gloriously breathed in and out night after night after night by a 64 year old man in tight black jeans and big boots who sure knows how to live. Impressive. Fun. Perfect.

Life Art In Life

2009-11-18T23:07:00.014Z

Art I love to look at: Russian mafia grave art....

Prisoner art..

you can see all, buy and find out more at Koestler Trust exhibition at the Royal Festival Hall here - at weekends female offender curators of the exhibition take guided tours - brilliant scheme

and fairground art..

I love the silky airbrushed pseudo-realistic style of fairground art - makes it all the more exciting when you are there if they have the big colourful hordings everywhere. And I love the way they use celebrity to add to the smoke and mirrors effect of the fairground. Great people-watching too I always find.

From The Back Of My Notebook

2009-11-01T00:38:00.003Z

Wolftank Systems.
Stuffer.
Thonegger. We are in an industrial area.

Italy passes by at night to the sound of The Watt From Pedro Show and WWM podcasts. Inspiring. Lost in other worlds transported by people talking about tv, stuff, music, tours and people. Love it.

Stars are out, the mountains are clear. People are kind.

Hot face, lots of wood. Listening to bass. Thump on the snow. Bag doesn't fit in, everyone in ski lift ignoring the smell of puke and blaming it on the cheese that someone is taking up the mountain. I don't think so.

The police won't let us pass and I get spooked going for a wee behind a derelict mountain house. I am sure I am being watched.

Lost in the time zone, floating on the road.

Trans
Europe
Express.

(Written on a drive from one location to another at night whilst filming in Italy).

Mirror Signal Snap!

2009-10-28T08:09:00.016Z

Filming in Italy but taking my own photo's at same time....

Fantastic day-glo seats at Brindisi Airport

Milano Centrale Stazione

Carpark Disco Granny

Braies Lake

Homeless In Milan Central Station

Taxi Queue Milan

Milan Central Stazione - built by Mussolini!

Men shooting the breeze in Lecce

Homeless man outside Genoa Station

A short stop - nice light

Morons Of The World Unite

2009-10-17T23:28:00.003Z

I gave them the benefit of the doubt but when the lights hadn't been fixed for the third day running I thought perhaps

(a) they hadn't noticed
(b) they didn't care
(c) they like it like that

so I took a photo as I drove past - much to the utter bemusement of other drivers.

Gaga Leroy

2009-09-21T22:15:00.004Z

Is it me or is there something rather JT LeRoy

about

Lady Gaga?

Things That Make You Go Agh!

2009-09-18T14:01:00.007Z

Weird things make my toes curl and my buttocks clench at the same time. Two of them are: The word Emo.

Makes me think of teenagers who get all depressed, wear black and listen to terrible eeemoo music in their bedrooms that are probably also painted black.

And then there is Soho bon viveur restauranteur Aldo Zilli in those breakfast cereal ads. Is it just me or is the way he says 'Optivita' really ggggghhhh?

What makes you go aaaaghhh?

Grin Dangerous Gin

2009-09-13T23:20:00.002Z

This is chef and chief sot Keith Floyd (no relation to Eddie) with his fourth wife looking ecstatically happy. What the hell have they got to be happy about? The photographer's assistant evidently has chucked a load of leaves at them and let them be shot wearing his'n'hers white leather wooden footwear and in Keith's case avec sock. I mean I ask you? And they are so beige. Kids - don't drink gin - this is what happens - you end up looking like a gurning outtake from ill-fated British soap Triangle.

Hi De Hi, Hi De No!

2009-09-05T14:56:00.012Z

© http://alanandtricia.com/

Awfully sorry for yet another gap but I have a genuine reason other than sheer laziness, twittering and bloggers blogfright this time. I have been camping in Cornwall. I can hear a chorus of 'oh how lovely'. Well quite, in theory but in practice not quite exactly what I had in mind per se. I went with the 8 year old - voici le Garcon de Ginge:

and my very fine and good friend Reeecolaah (no that's not her real name but in the interest of privacy I have rhymed it with something silly):

there she is stuck in a mound of Dr Who-like heather with Garcon de Ginge.

These were our pristine and weird and INCREDIBLY BORING campsite neighbours:

Yes. If you were wondering they were actually inside the tent all battened in reading mythical fantasy novels on the only sunny day. That was after they had eaten all bran and done the washing for the day. We lasted three days out of the allotted week for the simple reason that my poor friend was almost consumed by a gale bashed tent stuck giant slug style to her face. The first night we heard loud explosive bangs and a siren coming from the sea. My friend remarked wistfully that she could hear fireworks. I corrected that it was a storm warning and actually a succession of distress flares which all made perfect sense at 01:30 when we were running around in pyjamas and wellies trying to secure the tent in a gale force 6. I still have the scars on my palms from the guy ropes lacerating my skin like razorwire. Moral: don't try and lash anything down with your bare wet hands (especially rope or cord) in a force 6 gale!

Fast forward to same night 03:30 battling with boggy ground and pegs that won't stay in as the wind has pulled them out so many times there is now no longer any purchase.

Fast forward same night 04:30 both of us soaked through staring at each other saying: I hate this. Well actually I think we said: this is SHIT!

Fast forward to same night/morning 06:00 - I wake up to panicked shouts of 'Rockmother! Get up now - the tent is on my face!' I leapt up and then immediately lost balance on deflating airbed then headbutted the flysheet. Oh comedy camping capers. We finally both staggered outside to see the tent sagging badly on her side which again had lost purchase in the ground that had had a years worth of rain in 2 hours.

Next door had the same problem - we saw a lot of pyjama welly and wet hair action going on throughout the night. Basically no one slept a wink - one family abandoned their tent completely - just took the contents and left. Good move. Later that morning a few obviously seasoned campers came over to say hello and have an irritatingly jolly chat. What the bloody hell did they have to be so jolly about? They all seemed to think it was hilarious and fun that we had all camped out in the eye of a terrible storm.

This lasted for two more days at which point we:
(a) became very miserable and ratty
(b) had to gather around a coolbox with junior monopoly balanced precariously on top lit only by a tiny torch to have mammoth raucous games which garcon de ginge loved as we..
(c) drank copious amounts of wine to obliterate the ability of getting up any more at night to rectify the tent
(d) decided that people who like camping in extremis are mad and obviously like being inconvenienced and cooped up in flappy nylon for fun
(e) thought about torching the tent but himwhosnoreslikeabison would probably not be that happy so we didn't.

That's garcon de ginge Martin PArr-style getting back to nature with a seal.

But really, camping is no fun if all you can do is stagger around with hot weatherbeaten faces in damp clothes smelling of dog and have to run the risk of permanent tinnitus due to incredibly loud nylon flapping noise from wind and rain beating down like a ton of marbles onto the roof for 48hrs solid. So we moved. Sheer luck and god knows how we found a 2 bedroom pre-fab holiday home type thing in beautiful grounds including a heated swimming pool half a mile down the road. It had a hand-painted kaola bear plate on the wall in the kitchen.

It was bliss. So it was quite an adventure and despite the harrowing start we still had a great time which involved laughing quite a lot because if we hadn't we may have cried. Check out the unconscious 'art therapy' we did on the beach as part of our recovery....

Ta ta for now.

All photos © Rockmother except top photo © alanandtricia.com (yes - they are for real!!)

Should you find yourself at a loose end or bored of the radio click here for Listen With Rockmother podcasts - you love it!

Tra La La

2009-08-17T22:27:00.004Z

Behold the hysterical woman. I thought I better revive my ailing blawg before you all desert me? Don't be shy.

I've been reading things a bit wrong lately which makes life far more interesting than normal. This morning I could have sworn I read a headline proclaiming: Amy Establishes Rehabilitation Unit which sent me off into a reverie of 'Oh how nice, Amy Winehouse is sooo much better she has founded a rehab centre called Blakes (probably). But no, on third look it was aaarmy. Derr. Oh well. It's the school holidays. Can you tell?

I was looking in google pictures for 'jelly brain' but all that came up was this. I am afraid he is so good I couldn't leave him out could I ?

Oh Mr Rigsby Come With Me To The Cornershop

2009-07-20T23:18:00.006Z

Gracious! It HAS been a while but the old bag is back peddling more music fare for your gently cauliflowered but delicately careworn ears. Here are three good reasons why I like Cornershop:

'Who Fingered Rock and Roll' will be the first single off the greatly anticipated next album from Cornershop out on July 27th. For those of you who are big fans - Cornershop will be playing at the Jazz Cafe 26th July. Tjinder Singh and Ben Ayres really know how to write and arrange a tune - and I think this is particularly well-arranged. It has just the right amount of pomp and rock'n'roll bluster without completely overdoing it. Great summer tune and wonderful use of old council information film footage.

Moving swiftly on to 'The Roll Off Characteristics (History In The Making)':

There is a fantastic semi-Dexy's Midnight Runner's sound creeping in with the brass arrangement here and this track in particular sums up everything I have always loved about Cornershop and Tjinder Singh's Terry Hall-esque shy-sounding but not shy at all everso quivery voice.

I will leave you with Born Disco Died Heavy Metal - not many people know that Cornershop have been going for nearly twenty years and started off as a sort of metal punk band - some of which I have on some very rare vinyl EP's! Enjoy pop-pickers.

Cornershop.
Judy Sucks A Lemon For Breakfast out 27th July 2009.

I Am Mainly Wearing.....

2009-06-21T13:14:00.002Z

green sunglasses in hope and support for a free Iran....

Christ Alive - It's The Romo For Real no 24 Podcast

2009-06-14T01:38:00.005Z

About bloody time too despite the fact it is awfully late here at Romo Towers. Oh it's only 02:30 - don't mind me. Podcast no 24 - here it is. You can download it from my main podcast page here. Enjoy!

Kaja Whaaaaat?!

2009-05-24T22:16:00.006Z

Oh dear - I have been so busy being busy and saving my backside from freelance penury that I clean forgot to celebrate my blog's 5th birthday. How about a cake to celebrate? I think I'll have this one:

Goodness - what was the baker thinking of? Anyway - what I want to know is why are Kajagoogoo are getting back together? Obvious - money. But, and there is a big but WHO would want to go and see them - especially as they now look like this:

I had no idea Grayson Perry was part of the reunion line-up did you? On the subject of reunions - The Specials performed a few blinder gigs earlier this month - I recommend you cast your eye over a great review here at my mate Ister's if you want to feel like you were there as well as read some fine commentary on the very subject of 80's band reunions. Some people unfairly referred to this year's Specials reunion as 'chicken in a basket'. What with Kajagoogoo and the like of The Nolan Sisters dusting down their burnt orange polyester cameltoe outfits I find the prospect of them returning more Iceland 100 Vol-au-Vent platters for a £1 if you ask me.

I'm not too shy shy hush hush are you are - I'm off to the Kaja Forum to chat to some real fans and find out just who on earth is going to buy tickets to see them this time around. I might just browse the Kaja Shop too for some fake plaits and white espadrilles while I am at it. I hear they are big in Germany. So is David Hasselhof. Enough said.

Oh no you don't ladies! Keep back!

Spring roll platter anyone?

Let's Get Lost

2009-05-08T06:23:00.006Z

A few weeks ago I caught up with Bruce Weber's Let's Get Lost (1988) documentary which is about legendary jazz artist Chet Baker. It is a beautiful and seminal biopic of someone's life through their own eyes. If you have never seen it I can highly recommend it. It is beautifully shot and edited. Weber and Baker became very close friends which adds to the candour and beauty of it all.

I have always been a huge fan of Chet's. Just the name Chet sounds cool doesn't it? Chet had it all - amazingly handsome and cool of gait, ridiculous talent for playing the trumpet, brilliant songwriter and his honeycoated voice was so original one wonders how he managed to be so perfect. He also had an legendary appetite for drugs, drink and all out self-destruction. Somehow, despite the fact he lost all his front teeth (official version: in a fight, apparently too ashamed to admit was actually through drug use) he re-adjusted his 'embouchure' and had to learn to play with dentures. For many trumpet players in this position their career would be over or at the very least their technique/sound changed - Chet's never faltered. He was a perfectionist.

Chet's version of My Funny Valentine is epic. My best and sadly departed friend Abbie secretly arranged for a band to play it for me once in a crabshack in US - absolutely brilliant. Despite his his crazy fucked up life he remained true to his sound, his instrument and his work. An enigmatic, clever and tragic man. A beautiful man.

This is Chet in 1987 (a year before he died) performing My Funny Valentine in Tokyo. I really do recommend you watch and listen to it to the end as Chet hated it when people talked all the way through. He really did like hearing the audience listen and so they should. Ironically it wasn't the drugs that killed him. He fell from his apartment window in Amsterdam in 1988.

Shivers, goosebumps, tears. A remarkable man.

The Clement Freud Memorial Blogmeet

2009-04-19T22:39:00.007Z

Date: Fri 17 April 2009
Time: 19:00 >
Venue: The French House (a pub that only serves halves as Billy so rightly pointed out)

Well I did meet the beautiful and radiant Miss Slaminsky at Amy Winehouse's other home The Hawley Arms in Camden first where I manically tweeted "Pixie Geldof's in da house and she is dead posh in her cycling shorts and big boots". Couldn't help myself sorry. Yaaaawnn.

Then we hot-footed it off (still talking ten to the dozen like proper girls do when they get together) to blogmeetarama en Soho. There we hooked up with him, her and him. Oh we had such a lovely time despite the rain and all being kissed by a happy grateful homeless man who came up and rather honestly claimed he needed money for booze. At which point Billy piped up saying "oh at least he didn't say heroin' at which point Mr Footman said to the man "oh I would have had to give you a fiver if you had asked me for that!". The man was very pleased with his cull of money and went out of his way to say thank you by kissing each and every one of us on the cheek. I think he admired our honesty too in a way. It sort of made my chin go a bit itchy though but probably because I am prone to a winning combination of over-imagination and sensitive skin. Amidst waxing lyrical over Derek Griffiths and Tim's (or was it Llewtrah's?) relationship to Brian Cant (brothers wife's sister's husband I think) conversation turned to the late Clement Freud. Tim told this joke - one of Clement's finest. So for those of you that weren't there and in the absence of my inability to whip up a blogmeet manifesto mainly because there is a very good one here I therefore furnish you with 'that' joke:

Bye bye Clement. Bye bye JG Ballard too. Hurray for meetings of blog.

Did You want Marmite With That?

2009-04-11T23:09:00.011Z

Sorry. This post isn't about how nice or revolting Marmite is - it is about the power of the underground restaurant ladies and gentlemen although there is a marmite connection that will become clear shortly. Being the thoroughly modern techMiss that I am (not very) I have been spending a bit of time over here lately. It's quite amazing what one can achieve in 140 characters or less - and it is quite amazing who you bump into via friends of real life friends and what you can learn about/do. Somehow, I can't quite work out how I became a follower/followee of Ms Marmite Lover but thank god I did. Ms Marmite Lover is an innovative and clever writer, astrologer, blogger and cook who conceived and runs The Underground Restaurant. I can hear a chorus of 'what's that'?

The Underground Restaurant explores the thoroughly modern and fantastic phenomenon of turning your living room into a restaurant every week and serving a wonderful bespoke supper for a very reasonable £20-£25 a head (they also do concessions). The procedure is all very exciting and mysterious as are the teen goth/beautiful rockabilly staff and an after-pudding chat with Ms Marmite herself. Most of the produce is organic and all of it is vegetarian. No don't turn your nose up - see irresistable sample menu below for more detail. What I like about this apart from the obvious food part is that all of this operates on trust. Trust to open your house to complete strangers and cook for them. Brilliant and something that is much needed in this ugly age of mistrust and selfishness. A proper night out with an added 'new media' skew on it if you like.

Here is this week's menu:

Kir Royale

My marinated olives

Thai fish cakes with a sweet and sour coriander and cucumber dipping sauce

Focaccia from the Aga

Stilton and butternut squash risotto aided by Marghe

Mache (lambs leaf) salad with quails eggs and mustard dressing

Chocolate simnel cake

Baby Easter eggs

Coffee

You can check out the main Ms Marmite food blog here for further details, pictorial 'how to' guides and wonderful mouthwatering recipes. Interested? You can book here.

The Underground Restaurant are also now running The Underground Cooking Class in conjunction with other specialist boutique chefs such as Roberto Cortez where you can learn how to make magic frozen caviar with blue curacao amongst other things - see here for wonderful step-by- step guide on Ms Marmite's food blog.

I am off to purchase my ticket without further ado.

PS: Oh and they do the occasional proper tea as well - delicious!

(all photo's kind permission and (c) of Ms Marmite Lover/The Underground Restaurant)

Bowie's In Spaaaace

2009-03-27T07:49:00.003Z

For all you Bowie fans out there - it's fab, it's Friday and it's Flight Of the Conchords wiiiiiiiith......
Bowies' In Space (Do You Want To Borrow My Jumper Bowie?)

Ta ra for now peeps x

Roger Mellie Is Alive and Well

2009-03-23T23:38:00.003Z

Well almost. The continuing saga of Jadedeathgate which once again has been uber-exacerbated by the Daily Scrote (no I won't link to the Daily Mail because they are offal on the bottom of my shoe - find them yourself) has reached an unprecedented high in the slavishly cheap reporting of her passing. Here is an example of 'a touching tribute picked out especially by husband Jack Tweed today':

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No I think I'll compare you to a teabag darling. The card reads like a Viz Top Tip - who on earth wrote this? And it's huge and looks like it has been made out of pink icing. Has the world gone mad? I think Jade Goody's death is both tragic and frightening. I think she has done a great thing raising awareness for cervical cancer and has shown exceptional bravery in the face of her shockingly premature demise but that is what happens when you are dying - it gets ridiculously busy and there is no one as forthright or humblingly brave as a dying person. It sounds odd but when I looked after my terminally ill friend I felt both numb and privileged. Numb in the sense it all seemed so unreal and you could do nothing but accept the unrelentingly gruelling situation which was very tough on the psyche at times. Privileged in the sense that it was extraordinary to witness such strength in the face of knowing and feeling there is very little time left - the moment is crystal clear at all times, the moment is there like a big hand in front of your face. I bow to Jade's honesty in allowing the press/tv to follow this process but I can't help feeling it all turned a bit 'Team Jade'. Is this the acceptable face of reporting now? Is there anything we don't need to know anymore? I find that invasive and sad. I think it also creates a 'them' and 'us' divide in society. Not that healthy really.

DHSS and all that

2009-03-17T08:04:00.004Z

Yes - one in ten school-leavers are now unemployed. Perhaps this song needs to be re-released? Unfortunately it may lead to more UB40 songs being re-released which would not be good. I think this was the only song they did that was any good. An anthem for the Thatcher and now post-Blair generation.

Salmon Crochet

2009-03-08T12:14:00.004Z

Here is another secret snap a la Roche Mere.

Crochet? On the bus? I pity the recipient of this cardigan or blanket I really do. She was absolutely engrossed as she deftly wound the unfortunate salmon twine and had headphones on. I wonder what she was listening to? Someone on twitter suggested Nitin Sawhney - chortle fnar!

Karmarama

2009-03-05T10:27:00.005Z

It has been an auspicious week after the found wallet was returned to it's rightful owner (see previous post).

Saturday - got an e mail saying that we have been shortlisted for another development scheme run by UK Film Council/Tribeca Film Festival. They only take two prod/dir teams a year. We do the conference call today. Let's hope we get through but to be shortlisted alone is pretty good news. If we get it - we go to LA in April to pitch the film to more than 20 'execs'. Cool.

Monday - can't pay any any bills - various production companies owe us and are not paying and very overdue - we worry all day

Tuesday - get a call from a company did work for last year - they were calling to apologise that they have sent last 4 payments to wrong sort code - they owe us £2500.00 !!! We are now no longer panic-stricken and can pay bills.

Weds - my lovely friend Anna gives me a brand new (and much needed) mattress to say thank you for me helping her move house and doing DIY. I didn't expect a present - I did it because she is a single mum and my friend!

Today - come back from dropping the feisty small ginger squidget off at school and notice that there is a wine box on the doorstep. Two incredibly sumptious bottles of wine and a card saying: Dear Rockmother, thank you for being such a good samaritan. It genuinely made my bottom lip tremble and I got a little teary as I really didn't expect a present or to be called a good samaritan. Sniff sniff. Just off to blow my nose and wonder over the joy of good deeds.

The World In A Wallet

2009-03-03T00:29:00.007Z

I did a very good deed last Wednesday and it nearly didn't happen. It wouldn't have happened had I not been so indecisive and changed my usual route home which is what I did by changing trains at the very last minute. Waiting on the opposite platform for an alternative train I watched one come and go. As the doors closed I heard the hefty thwack of a wallet hit the platform. I rushed forward and realised that one of the couple who I could see rammed up against the now closed doors must have dropped it. I knocked on the doors of the train waving the wallet to get the couple's attention. They completely ignored me and turned their backs laughing together - then the train jerked forward. I stepped back a bit anxious as to what to do. I looked around and no one seemed to have even noticed this little non-exchange so I just stood there with this big thick man's wallet throbbing like a heavy heart in my hand. I stuffed it in my bag under a book in case it should get lost again and decided to hand it in to the station police once I got to the other end. But of course - there were no police at the other end and I suddenly had the feeling should I be bothered to hand it in at a local police station it would probably end up languishing in a drawer never to be returned.

I took it home and had a proper look through it. No cash, a few cards, family photo's (some very old), driver's licence and a ticket for the Chelsea vs Juventus game which was starting in 30 mins! It then became apparent that the owner of the wallet wasn't even from London but Belfast and was probably at that point standing bewildered at the turnstile! I had another rifle through it and found a hotel key. To cut a long story short - I called the main number as the key only had the word Radisson printed on it. I got put through to a lovely Irishman called Terry in Dublin (Radisson HQ apparently) who was very excited about the prospect that a customer was going to be reunited with their wallet. From that point on it all got a bit silly. For a start we located Mr Lost Wallet via the last 4 digits on his last remaining credit card. Terry in his amazement and excitement it transpires took my mobile number down minus a digit. He then spent the next two hours trying different configurations of my mobile number and finally by fluke got hold of me. When he did he was almost exploding with joy and told me I was a saint and deserved a big present - ohh I thought - a week's break at a Radisson of my choosing? A feature in the Radisson Monthly Newsletter? He then gave me Mr Lost Wallet's wife's mobile number although he said she may call me. He finished off by telling me that I was on his wavelength and there weren't enough people like us in the world. I couldn't agree more and I sort of wanted to give him a big telephone hug too.

Next...briiing briiiing....it's Mrs Mr Lost Wallet absolutely over the moon about the wallet. We went through an inventory of what was in the wallet, how I found it, how she has 10 daughters and if I get an odd message on facebook then it was them and Terry trying to find me and how her other daughter had won a competition recently - an all expenses paid trip for 2 to see the Chelsea game in London that night. Luckily, luckily because the lost wallet contained a ticket that was a prize they still managed to get into the game so all was not lost. Then she told me if I was ever in Belfast that I must visit (and I am the kind of person that would too). I asked her where in Belfast they were - ha - only the same road that my bloody cousins live in. Too too weird. At that point, we both had a communal telephone slurp of wine and chink of glasses as we shared the joy of it all. An hour later Mr Lost Wallet himself turned up to claim his wallet back. I invited him in as I went to get it. He said thank you, you'll be hearing from us and scuttled out into a minicab where his other smiling daughter waved from the back seat - and that was it. Do you know I think he said thank you but I can't be sure. I think he was a bit shy despite the fact he had ten daughters. Ten daughters. No wonder there wasn't any cash in the wallet.

Wife On the Edge

2009-02-21T12:06:00.004Z

I took a secret photo on the tube last week. A lady reading crapmag Take A Break - she was totally engrossed in the Wife On The Edge article. I think the passenger next to her noticed me - although I didn't notice him at the time.

I love the contrast in aware/unawareness between the two passengers.

Things That Make You Go Eeouwch!

2009-02-15T10:42:00.004Z

Oh dear has it been that long? I've been busy. Busy fighting my creative demons and creating you see. Actually I've been really busy on twatbook and twitter too if truth be known! I joined Twitter bloody ages ago - even before Stephen Fry who is the Lord Emperor of all that is Twittle. He even made me his friend after I commented on one of his twittles or twits or tweets or whatever they are called so I must say I am truly twittily honoured. There is something quite radically comforting and useful having to microblog in 140 characters or less. You can follow me at twitter if you so desire - I'm @rockmother not surprisingly. Don't all rush at once!

Aagh - take the scary lady with her record-breaking talons away - away I tell you! Despite the fact Lee Redmond has been rather admirably been growing her nails for 24 years at a combined length of just over 28 foot they are (in my opinion) disgusting! They make my toes curl - in the same way droopy hairy ears do. And as for varicose veins - I have been known to publicly retch on catching sight of some poor unfortunate's knotted calves. Ironically, Lee the nail lady from Salt Lake City (weirdo Mormon capital of the world) who looks like a cross between an alien and Bill Bailey has just lost her extra-long nails in a terrible car accident. I wonder if she will grow them again? How on earth has she managed to function all these years with nails that long? I would go to youtube as I am sure there is footage of her at home showing us how but someone else can do that and report back please.

On a lighter note - hurray - a new rockmockumentary is coming out soon - arise Anvil! Yes - real life Spinal Tap takes to the road in the form of long-forgotten and very loud Canadian rock band Anvil. You can watch the trailer here:

And if you are still reading and haven't had enough click here for Times article on a guide to 100 best blogs - cue feverish searching. How many on the list have got book deals I wonder?

Yarp! Ciao!

My Life According To Spotify This Week.....

2009-01-28T13:18:00.004Z

Mike Watt – Burnin' For You
Mike Watt – Drove Up From Pedro
Mike Watt – IX
Electric Sandwich – China
Santogold – L.E.S. Artistes
Soft Machine – When I Don't Want You -
Original Soft Machine – Nettle Bed
Chromeo – Fancy Footwork
Chromeo – Bonafied Lovin' (Tough Guys)
Josh wink-higher state of cons – 01 josh wink-higher state of c
Smog – I Was a Stranger
Smog – To Be of Use
Smog – It's Rough
Smog – All Your Women Things
The Mamas & The Papas – I Can't Wait
Mr. Fingers – Can You Feel It
Sampson Moore – House Beat Box
Kraftwerk – Pocket Calculator
Kraftwerk – Die Roboter
Kraftwerk – The Telephone Call
Gary Numan – Are Friends Electric
Gary Numan – Are 'Friends' Electric (Live)
The Mamas & The Papas – California Dreamin'
The Mamas & The Papas – Monday, Monday
The Mamas & The Papas – Dancing in the Street
The Mamas & The Papas – Twelve Thirty (Young Girls Are Coming to the Canyon)
Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Gold Lion (Diplo remix)
Marlena Shaw – California Soul (Diplo/Mad DeCent remix)
David Bowie – Heroes (Single Version)
David Bowie – Let's Dance (Single Version)
David Bowie – Young American
David Bowie – The Jean Genie
David Bowie – China Girl
David Bowie – Ashes To Ashes (Single Version)
David Bowie – Fame
David Bowie – Fashion (Single Version)
David Bowie – Golden Years (Single Version)
David Bowie – Ashes to Ashes
David Bowie – Beauty And The Beast
David Bowie – Heroes
David Bowie – Let's Dance
David Bowie – TVC15
The Stooges – 1969
Iggy Pop – 1969 (Live)
The Stooges – 1970
The Stooges – Down On The Street
The Stooges – Gimme Danger
Iggy Pop – I Got a Right!
The Stooges – I Need Somebody
Iggy Pop – I Wanna Be Your Dog
Iggy Pop – I Wanna Be Your Dog (Live)
The Stooges – Little Doll
Iggy Pop – Little Electric Chair
MC5 – Looking At You
The Stooges – Loose
The Stooges – My Idea of Fun
Iggy Pop – My Idea Of Fun (Live)
The Stooges – No Fun
The Stooges – Search and Destroy
The Stooges – Studio Dialogue
The Stooges – Trollin'
Money Mark – Push the Button
Money Mark – Too Like You
Money Mark – Monkey Dot
Money Mark – Tomorrow Will Be Like Today
Money Mark – Poor Shakes
Money Mark – Bossa Nova 101
Money Mark – Rock in the Rain
Money Mark – Crowns
Money Mark – All the People
Money Mark – Underneath It All
Money Mark – I Don't Play Piano
Money Mark – Destroyer
Money Mark – Hand in Your Head
Money Mark – Trust Money
Mark – Maybe I'm Dead
Money Mark – Dha Teen Ta
Money Mark – Powerhouse
Money Mark – Harmonics of Life
Money Mark – Stuck At The Airport
Money Mark – Color Of Your Blues
Money Mark – Pick Up The Pieces
Money Mark – Summer Blue
Money Mark – Pretend To Sleep
Money Mark – My Loss, Your Gain
Money Mark – Everyday I Die A Little
Money Mark – Radiate Nothing
Money Mark – Black Butterfly
Money Mark – Nice To Me
Money Mark – Eyes That Ring
Money Mark – Brand New By Tomorrow
Money Mark – Take Me Where The Flowers Grow
Money Mark – Love's Theme
Mike Watt – Sexual Military Dynamics
Mike Watt – E-Ticket Ride
Mike Watt – Big Train
Mike Watt – Against the '70s
Mike Watt – Piss-Bottle Man
Mike Watt – Chinese Firedrill
Mike Watt – Intense Song for Madonna to Sing
Mike Watt – Tuff Gnarl
Mike Watt – Max and Wells
Mike Watt – Forever - One Reporter's Opinion
Mike Watt – Song for Igor
Mike Watt – Tell 'Em, Boy!
Mike Watt – Sidemouse Advice
Mike Watt – Heartbeat
Mike Watt – Maggot Brain
Mike Watt – Coincidence Is Either Hit or Miss
Brian Auger – In And Out
KC and The Sunshine Band – Give It Up
KC and The Sunshine Band – Please Don't Go
KC and The Sunshine Band – (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty
KC and The Sunshine Band – I Get Lifted
KC and The Sunshine Band – Space Cadet
KC and The Sunshine Band – Black Water Gold
KC and The Sunshine Band – Fire In Your Eyes
KC and The Sunshine Band – Funky '75
The S.O.S. Band – Just Be Good to Me (album version)
Eagles Of Death Metal – I Want You So Hard (Boy's Bad News)
Eagles Of Death Metal – Wannabe In L.A
White Denim – Let's Talk About It
White Denim – Shake Shake Shake
White Denim – Sitting
White Denim – I Can Tell
White Denim – Heart From Us All
White Denim – Mess Your Hair Up
White Denim – All You Really Have To Do
White Denim – Don't Look That Way At It
White Denim – Darksided Computer Mouth
White Denim – IEIEI
White Denim – WDA
White Denim – Transparency
White Denim – You Can't Say
White Denim – Migration Wind
White Denim – All Truckers Roll
The Specials – A Message to You Rudy
The Specials – Concrete Jungle
The Specials – Do the Dog
The Specials – The Skinhead Symphony (Medley) (Live At The BBC)
The Specials – Blank Expression
The Specials – Pressure Drop
The Specials – Monkey Man
The Specials – Gangsters (Live At The BBC)
The Specials – Friday Night, Saturday Morning
The Specials – Too Much Too Young (Live At The BBC)
The Specials – Too Much Too Young
The Specials – Rat Race The Specials – Rat Race (Live At The BBC)
The Specials – Monkey Man (Live At The BBC)
The Specials – Concrete Jungle (Live At The BBC)
The Specials – Ghost Town The Specials – Little Bitch
The Specials – Man at C & A
Rico – Nite Klub
The Specials – Stupid Marriage
The Specials – Ghost Town (Extended Version)
En Vogue – Hold On
Mantronix – Got To Have Your Love (Radio Edit)
Mantronix – Who Is It? [Club Mix]
Mantronix – I Get Lifted
Mantronix – Hardcore Hip Hop
Slick Rick – The Show Live (feat. Doug E. Fresh)
Shanice – I Love Your Smile
N.E.R.D. – Everyone Nose (All the Girls Standing in the Line for the Bathroom)
N.E.R.D. – Spaz
N.E.R.D. – Yeah You
N.E.R.D. – You Know What
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – The Adventures Of Grandmaster Flash On The Wheel Of Steel
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – White Lines
Grandmaster Flash – Step Off Megamix
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five feat. Melle Mel & Duke Bootee – The Message
The Sugarhill Gang – 8th Wonder
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – She's Fresh
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – It's a Shame
Grandmaster & Melle Mel & The Furious Five – Pump Me Up
The Sugarhill Gang – Livin' In The Fast Lane
Coldcut – Last Night A Cliché Saved My Life
Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)
Cipher Complete – Bring Hip Hop Back
LL Cool J – My Rhyme Ain't Done
Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee – Dollar Bill
Pop Levi – Dollar Bill Rock
Public Enemy – Public Enemy No. 1
Public Enemy – Bring the Noise
Public Enemy – Don't Believe the Hype
Anthrax – Bring the Noise (feat. Public Enemy)
Public Enemy – Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos
Public Enemy – Rebel Without a Pause
Public Enemy – Fight the Power
Public Enemy – Shut 'em Down
Ice Cube – $100 Dollar Bill Ya'll
Public Enemy – Caught, Can We Get a Witness?
Stereo MC's – On 33
Stereo MC's – Use It
Stereo MC's – Gee Street
Stereo MC's – Neighbourhood
Stereo MC's – Part 2
Stereo MC's – Bring It On
Stereo MC's – Outta Touch
Stereo MC's – Back to the Future
Stereo MC's – Ground Level
Stereo MC's – Everything
Stereo MC's – Sketch
Stereo MC's – Fade Away
Stereo MC's – All Night Long
Stereo MC's – Playing With Fire
Stereo MC's – Pressure
Stereo MC's – Chicken Shake
Stereo MC's – Creation
Stereo MC's – The End
Stereo MC's – I'm a Believer
Stereo MC's – Scene of the Crime
Stereo MC's – Declaration
Stereo MC's – Watcha Gonna Do?
Stereo MC's – Two Horse Town
Stereo MC's – Ain't Got Nobody
Stereo MC's – Goin' Back to the Wild
The Damned – Smash It Up (Live)
The Damned – Love Song (Demo)
The Damned – I Just Can’t Be Happy Today (Demo)
The Damned – Nasty
The Damned – Do The Blitz
The Damned – Stab Your Back (Live ‘77)
The Damned – You Know (Live ‘77)
The Damned – Idiot Box (Live ‘77)
The Damned – Stranger On The Town (Live ‘82)
The Damned – Smash It Up (Bonus Track)
Visage – Fade to Grey
The Associates – Party Fears Two
The Associates – Boys Keep Swinging
Visage – Damned Don't Cry
Junior Senior – Move Your Feet (Kurtis Mantronik club mix)

Free your mind. Spotify yourself.

Severe Bloggers Health Warning!

2009-01-24T14:14:00.005Z

Yes - it's that time of year again when I get all grumpy and have to transpose the numbers so people still think I am in my 30's instead of my early 40's! Getting old unglamourously and with great rudeness all round. No cake this year - just a roast and prosecco and lots of it! Perhaps I might one day end up looking like this which will be penance for being so badly behaved in earlier life!

I don't think so!

Anyway, on a far more serious note: beware of blogging from bed (which I do quite a lot) as you may end up looking like this!

Stop it! Stop snacking on blogs! Get out of bed and stop it! No you can't have any won ton soup!

Yes. I am DEFINATELY going to hell!

Barometer a la Pete Tong

2009-01-23T00:10:00.005Z

(Out of respect I felt I had to leave Ron up for a decent amount of time - at least until the funeral had passed - which it now has). And so....

Each quarter I receive an e mail from a property auctioneer. I must have subscribed ages ago in a fit of pre-bust property nosiness. Anyway - this latest list I thought was a rather interesting and sombre barometric reminder of what is going on out there.

Our February sale once again contains a range of commercial investment properties located throughout the UK, including :-
An unbroken modern City centre parade in Bradford part let to the local authority, Starbucks & J D Wetherspoon
8 Bank investments let to either HSBC Bank Plc, Nationwide, Barclays or Nationwide.
5 well let supermarket investments trading as Iceland
10 public house investments with surety from Punch Taverns
A well located Department Store Investment let to Debenhams in Kings Lynn
A restaurant investment let to Café Rouge in Ruislip Other investments let to Superdrug, Co-op, Clinton Cards, William Hill and BSM

Evidently it's all going a bit 'Pete Tong'....

Personally I would rather buy the Withnail cottage (if I had any spare cash - which I don't!):

A snip apparently at £145,000 GBP. More details here.

Still depressed? Listen to my podcasts - bound to cheer you up (no I haven't done a new one yet but am working on it!)

Ta ta. xx

Ron Asheton - A Humble Tribute

2009-01-09T23:48:00.011Z

Ron Asheton has died. He was founder member and guitarist of The Stooges. The news of his death has been a great shock to many people - not just because he was such a great musician and a legend in his own right but also because he was a unique and most gentle individual. I count myself blessed to have met and chatted with him briefly late last summer. I'm not normally shy about meeting well known people I have such creative respect for but when you have taken so long to secure your most favourite band ever for your baby anti-format music show you can suddenly get a little hesitant. The momentous Iggy and the Stooges performed a set with a grindy groove worthy of an express train running over your head for forty minutes flat. It was hard not to leap up and whirl around or even want to rip your clothes off and flail about on the floor like a mad thing which for some reason listening to The Stooges always makes me kind of want to do. After the set I took a deep breath and went into the dressing room to say thank you. I was anxious to see that they had enjoyed it as the start was a little haphazard on our tv-land side. We hadn't finished lighting and in true Stooges style we all scrambled to attention at Ron's first and ever so punctual chord - crrrwaaaaahhhhh - wake up everybody! I also had trouble with a set that was meant to be closed - friends of the previous bands roadies and their mates/mother/assorted pets suddenly turned up lining at least one wall all gawping - some even filming - such disrespect. I wasn't going to be the one to ask The Stooges if they would mind stopping and start again in five minutes time once I had cleared the set of rabble. Not quite the done thing really. Anyway, afterwards I swallowed that breath and walked into the dressing room. I introduced myself and I have to say I have never met such a truly polite and grateful group of men. Ron went out of his way to introduce himself, find out more about the show and thank me. He was so kind and enthusiastic about what we were doing. So Ron I now thank you again for being the very heartbeat and backbone of something so special over the years with your Asheton sound. Prior to that day I have been lucky to see Iggy and The Stooges perform live twice in the last two years - once at the Royal Festival Hall as part of the Meltdown Festival where the venue was so small and the gig was so rocking I swear I have not been the same since and lastly at Clapham in 2008. I have always been struck with Ron's oddly graceful and static stance when performing - his delicate wrists and hands whirring so precisely over the frets of his guitar, one foot always forward of the other, his camo jacket and soft baby skin. It was a humbling and most gracious pleasure to meet you Ron. A unique and kind man of such undeniable talent and character. You have gone too soon. Big hugs for the journey and all the people you have left behind. My thoughts are with all of you - especially the band and tech crew who have lost a best friend and a true brother. Ron's light shines bright and very very loud. A happy jewel of a man from Ann Arbor, Michigan who finally got to enjoy the success he so most definately deserved.

The Lady Doth Protest

2009-01-05T09:50:00.003Z

Contrary to the police and media reports - there was no flag burning or bad behaviour - just thousands of people that want the same thing - peace and an end to the inhumane and illegal atrocities that are happening right now in Gaza. It was an amazing sight to see an endless river of people of all ages and colours filling up Whitehall and Trafalgar Square. Everyone was peaceful and united with one aim in mind. Do what you can - no matter how small. We might be in a recession in UK but goodness - we don't know how lucky we are.

Impending New Year Snog Alert

2008-12-30T20:47:00.002Z

I just thought I would tell you all that I stared and smirked shamelessly at a man who looked a little like Rob Brydon in Boots today. In his basket was:

2 x large bottles of extra-strength blaster mouthwash
1 x packet of ribbed condoms and
1 x packet of thrush cream

I reckon he might have had a date/is expecting to have a date. My imagination is running overtime as to the necessity for thrush cream.

Heaven Knows I'm Chrismerable Now!

2008-12-24T15:33:00.003Z

Well no not really - but I quite like singing that instead of the real version - better than singing all or one of the three versions of Hallelujah that has given me insomnia for the last three days. Finally the manflu, ladyflu and minimanflu has abated. I was very organised despite being on death's door. The tree was up on Dec 5th. See picture of tree - it is an alternative to the usual.

The cards were posted two weeks ago. It's just that I forgot accidently on purpose to get the parsnips as quite frankly they are the devil's food! So I apologise to my Christmas guests but there are lots of other vegetables to eat so don't worry. My signature tipple of tomorrow will be Prosecco with pomegranate - I shall have one for and toast each and everyone of you my glorious blogfriends. Lots of love and chin chin xx

PS: there is an absolutely brilliant piece of writing about Chrizzmarse here if you are at a loose end

PPS: I rather un-Christmasly but with huge satisfaction called a teenager a lumbering idiot in Primark today as she slumpered into my changing cubicle that was most obviously occupied - then I spent the next ten minutes silently giggling to myself. No - I will not be going to heaven but we knew that anyway.

Woop Woop Biohazard

2008-12-16T19:20:00.004Z

Gracious lummy lawks! Where does the time go? Half of it has been spent dicking around on fartbook and manictwitterchecking whilst getting flu first, then getting rid of it only to infect 'himwhosnoreslikeabison' only to catch manflu back again - but MUCH WORSE this time around. Last night was spent in two sets of pyjamas and woolly socks and still cold, 8 sneezes in a row and then insomnia from really annoying X Factor Hallelujah songs. So don't come to our house - it looks like this at the mo:

We've got the orange tape and everything. Oh it hurts to breathe. Such delirium has allowed/forced me to watch the following films today in this order:

Jezebel - Bette Davis Southern shocker
Waterloo Road - fantastic wartime London drama
Girls Girls Girls - Elvis looking sexy and fab costumes

The day started with Jeremy Kyle - which for the duration I started to feel much better and really stunningly beautiful and clever compared to the munters on parade with their selfish stupid lives.

Anyway - it's more From the Basement tomorrow on Sky Arts at 22:00 - more shameless plugging but quite frankly - with no one paying me for three months and no job on the horizon apart from going into prostitution with the most fantastic Urban Woo what have I to live for?

Blogpoll: Christmas present for a 7 and a half year old - answers please:
Is it a pair of guinea pigs or a Nintendo DS? Would I be the most horrible and boring parent in the world to go for guinea pigs? Would he wonder after 30 mins 'where the real present is'?
I have so far avoided technology apart from a Leapster which he was overjoyed with until he realised it was 'educational'. Oh...I think I know the answer but everyone I know who has given their child a Nintendo DS hasn't spoken to them in the last year as they are always head first in the DS...mind you if very big record co corporation don't pay up by this week it will be a wooden hoop and an india rubber ball from the pound shop!!

And on that note - here is Cher with Half Breed (thanks to Namalee for enlightening me):

Sayonara you poppy little gypsies tramps and thieves!

I Am Alive - Watch This

2008-12-03T18:25:00.006Z

I am alive - just been horribly busy finishing off the 'best music show on tv' (according to a journalist from The Guardian and The Telegraph today - Pick of the Day if you must know). First airing of the second series of From the Basement starts TONIGHT at 22:00!! Set those topboxes to record. If you are in the UK please tune in to Sky Arts tonight and even if you haven't got Sky you can receive Sky Arts on Virgin cable too I believe - how good is that?

Sky Arts 1 – channel 256
Sky Arts 2 – channel 257
Sky Arts HD – channel 258

Also on Virgin Media:
Sky Arts 1 - on channel 284 and Sky Arts 2 - on channel 285

If you are in the US then I am afraid you have to wait until January to watch it all on IFC. And if you haven't got a telly you can check out our fab new Youtube channel here.

Here are the times and the running order:
3 Dec Gnarls Barkley, Sparks, The Kills
10 Dec My Morning Jacket, The Fall, White Denim
17 Dec Iggy and The Stooges, CSS and Shortwave Set
24 Dec Radiohead, Andrew Bird, Fleet Foxes
31 Dec The Raconteurs, Seasick Steve, Band of Horses
7 Jan Queens of the Stone Age, Terry Callier and Mercury Rev

More championing wifflings from Sky Arts here and my lovely and clever friend Mof here

Here's a picture of me looking tired and saggy and Iggy looking away from my chest/charmingly bored!

Enjoy!

Mitch Mitchell - the drummer's drummer

2008-11-14T15:01:00.003Z

I do hope Mitch Mitchell is having a lovely time wherever he may be. Poor old thing died this week - of natural causes which is quite an achievement in this day and age. Here is one of my favourite Hendrix performances showing Mitch in fine form - he was the master of time change. What a bloody great drummer he was.

Night night Mitch. See you around.

Get your Listen With Rockmother podcasts here on the new Rockmother podcast site!!

Podcast Alert! Romo For Real Number 20 is here

2008-11-09T03:46:00.006Z

By jove! She's done it. She's really really done it!

Yes - I've got a brand new podcast number 20 ready and waiting on my new podcast site:
Pin Back Your Ears

I will also post it up later today on the archive site too.

Happy listening my little choux buns.

A Very Modern President

2008-11-07T13:41:00.004Z

See the entire set of Chez Obama's Election Night on Flickr - great photo's. It may be a bit slow and actually crashed while I was looking due to phenomenal traffic I am sure but they are a fantastic set of photo's if you can stand the wait. I am still slightly reeling and over-emotional about what Barack Obama has achieved this week and how it has touched the world. The night before I found myself (uncommonly for me as a total non-believer) praying to god, allah, vashti, buddha, fire, water, any force anywhere that could hear me please please please could Obama do it. I have never forgotten seeing Martin Luther King's incredibly and unknowingly prophetic speech on a tv documentary as a 12 year old and experiencing real emotion from a speech for the very first time - and every time thereafter when I heard it. It really does reduce me to watery rubble every time. The day before I re-visited that speech on youtube - it really is very special and particularly inspiring and prescient considering the events of this week. In stark contrast, I was struck how dishevelled and Ceaucescu-like Bush looked (in a cheap crumpled-suit morally broken sort of way) when he gave his not particularly interesting congrat speech. I was also struck how shockingly inept Palin was when in a radio interview only yesterday she had the stupidity to announce that she thought they (big fat white bible-eating middle Americans) lost because she had been portrayed so badly by the media. Madam? Did we have a choice? Is Africa a continent or country? Get to the back of the class. (As you clearly have none).

I wish we had a Barack I really do.

Lose Yourself

2008-11-03T23:48:00.005Z

I woke up this morning with the words 'big fat arm' in my head. Goodness knows why but I did. Anyway, I digress. I am so BORED of the BBC and The Daily Mail and reporting about the credit crunch. I couldn't give a stuff about whether Jonathan Ross should be reinstated or not. I don't care whether Jeremy Clarkson has hurt his pinky driving a truck into a brick wall or Terri Seymour has packed Simon Cowell. I care about real things like the little boy I saw running to school the other morning followed by his mother shambling after him with a can of Diamond White in her hand. The only good thing about it was at least he was going to school on time. How devoid of any dignity whatsoever must you be to drink at that time in the morning - on the school run? I wanted to grab the boy's hand and run with him - and keep running - far far away to a magic lovely land.

Anyway - what I really meant to post up was a little bit about the fantastic BFI Film Archive which you can now browse quite substantially on it's own youtube channel. Here is an excerpt from John Schlesinger's brilliant film Terminus - shot over one very busy day at London Waterloo Station in 1961.

my other favourites are 'Tea Making Tips':

'One Potato Two Potato':

and 'Unwanted Guests' (not for the squeamish).

Ta ra for now.

For Piley - Sluts In Leotards

2008-10-23T10:05:00.002Z

There was a small discussion on the last post about the merits of Legs and Co or Hot Gossip - well quite frankly I feel Hot Gossip win hands down! You can't go wrong with a bit of strutting suggestively in a high-cut leotard. So because I know Piley really wants to see some Hot Gossip - here they are:

Believe it or not - Hot Gossip recorded an album in the early 80s titled Geisha Boys and Temple Girls produced by the former Human League and then current Heaven 17 member Martyn Ware. The album was an unmitigated commercial failure. The group was once spoofed on The Benny Hill Show as "Hot Gossamer". A few real-life former Hot Gossip dancers went on to appear on the Benny Hill show in its last fading years as part of the Hill's Angels dance troupe.

Oh the shame.

Which one was your favourite? Everyone always swooned over Peri Lister and Debbie Ash although my favourite was Carol Fletcher. You see - I know all the names!

Interlude: Funking For Jamaica in Underwear

2008-10-21T11:32:00.003Z

I should probably have entitled this post interlube as opposed to interlude - anyway - whilst looking for 70's car adverts for the Austin Princess I stumbled across Legs and Co from 1978 dancing in nothing but french knickers and not much else to Tom Browne's excellent tune Funkin' for Jamaica. Perhaps they ran out of themes for that week and thought 'oh fuck it, we'll just do it in our pants this week shall we girls?'

How High the Moon?

2008-10-18T09:36:00.006Z

Listen to the wonderful syrupy sound: Les Paul and Mary Ford - incredible.

and then look at how lovely the sky was yesterday

I'm off to go and see this today. Toodlepip.

Ways Of Seeing (now with fixed links)

2008-10-14T22:11:00.008Z

Does anyone else see the word WANKER when they look at this picture?

Apparently The Krypton Factor is having a makeover and making a comeback to our screens soon. We used to call it the Cripple Factor in our house. In fact, we never used to call anything by it's proper name - even each other. Anyway, I digress.

Wooh - did you see those shellsuits? Branded the 'toughest show on telelvision - the quiz was hosted by Gordon Burns for its entire 18-year run. For the mighty comeback, its producers have promised to use "the latest technology" to challenge the next set of participants' observation skills, intelligence and general knowledge.

There will also be a return for the assault course which has been described as "iconic, menacing and 100% entertaining". Here is a little clip centred around the 'rapid response round' - check out the 'specially-designed speed chariots' about 2 minutes in. It is almost vintage Monty Python.

Someone on Youtube has commented that they thought the theme tune (by Art Of Noise) was the best theme tune on tv ever. No it wasn't - it was this!

I'm All For Democracy But....

2008-10-14T21:54:00.002Z

these freakoids need to be put down for their own good:

Quelle Surprise! Quelle Horreur!

2008-10-10T22:00:00.005Z

I got a letter today (oh boy)! It was from my pathetic pension company Lincoln Assurance - oh I feel so assured thank you. Not. Only yesterday I was surmising that my pension must be a bit buggered considering that I knew the aforesaid pension company is US owned and based on 'slow moving commodities' Doh! Big doh! Anyway - guess what the letter said? Yes - you guessed right.

Sorry - due to there being no money left your monthly pension payment needs to go up - that way we can possibly recoup some of your money that we have squandered over the years and eventually tell you that it has not performed when you are old and ready to retire only to realise that you can't.

Actually - it was much worse than that - it really said -

due to an 'error' it appears that your premiums have not been automatically increased by 7.5% per annum which they should have been since you took out the policy. We have identified that a number of these increases have been missed, which you may have also noticed from the annual mailings and statements we send you (er..no.). Please accept our apologies for this. (So you are admitting that it is your error then?). To correct this we will reinstate the automatic increase from the next policy anniversary in 2009. The level at which your premium will increase is not yet known (why not?) and so we will let you know this nearer the time. If you do not wish us to reinstate the increase then please complete the enclosed reply slip and return to us in the pre-paid envelope. (So I have a choice - then? Oh whoopee.)

Not that I am paranoid or anything but:
(a) they have been trusted with my money every month for the last 12 years
(b) if they have made 'an error' then shouldn't they be compensating me for loss of pension performance/revenue to date?
(c) do they think I was born fucking yesterday? It appears they have a massive shortfall to correct due to the current nonsense world money meltdown situation and are possibly using this 'ploy' to recoup the money back in a sort of mini bail-out plan
(d) I will get to the bottom of this and they will become tired of speaking to me
(e) how do I get my hands on the little money I have invested in my idiot pension over the last 12 years with these buffoons?

This is all I have to say to them:

On a lighter note - this is one of my all time favourite letters - people should write more letters like this:

(photo: courtesy of Big Al Davies - ukelele player extraordinaire to the stars)

I'm off to my dearly beloved most favourite person ever Godfather's memorial/scattering/wake tomorrow - I may be gone for some time. Hit me for six if truth be known. I'm dreading it. Here is a picture of us at Chessington Zoo when I was nearly two (ish). I remember everything about it - it was a cold winter's day and that was my favourite coat but I didn't like having my hood up and I kept grabbing Chris's eye sockets because he was the tallest man in the world - and the best. He will be so missed.

Chris Heneghan Always My Favourite 1945 - 2008

Update: My turn to scream

2008-10-04T11:05:00.002Z

It's the radiator! Noooooo.

The mechanic told me to stop thinking of my car as a love affair and put it on ebay.

Was It Something I Said?

2008-10-03T20:36:00.005Z

I have been doing this all day (see above). Yes. It is a woman screaming. Let me tell you why:

09:00 Car seems a little weird to drive. There is a burning smell front left. It is an old Saab 900. It is 'the Wagon of Rock'. It is about to kill me. How could it? I have just shelled out a whole year's worth of road tax on it and I love it so. I nearly burn my hand off undoing the water reservoir thingy (some of you (notice I didn't say 'some male readers') may know the correct term for what I am describing). Muchos steam and loud pitched squealing noise coming from the top. Sort of exhilarating in a worrying way. I go inside and don some fetching heavy duty blue rubber gloves (just in case) and pour water into the empty reservoir. It drains straight through and onto the street. Oh good. At best a split hose/at worst a new radiator which means scrap squidge for the (vintage moneypit) Saab. I can't drive to the mechanic at the end of the road because it is blocked by an angry looking delivery man who isn't going to move. So I have to drive all around the block. The mechanic isn't there. So I have to drive all the way back again and park the car, write a note, walk down. post the keys etc etc.

09:30 Call my friend who I was going to meet at the airport for a quick coffee before he flies to Australia to say - sorry - not coming. Disappointing. Run for the bus - go to work.

10:30 Delays delays delays. Get stopped by Asthma research chugger - pretend I am on my mobile and show him my inhaler - no thanks.

11:30 Finally get to work. Have to crunch tons of work into a very small time frame.

14:50 Waiting for bus to take me to school to pick up the Son of Romo. It is freezing and there is every bus except mine.

15:10 Twenty mins left - my attention turns to a notice on bus stop about 'closures' and 'diversions'. The diversion goes about two miles out of the way - I realise even if the bus comes now - I won't make it. Decide to walk.

15:11 Am seriously power-walking with heavy bag. My neck hurts. My phone rings. It is a number that looks vaguely familiar. I answer. I shouldn't have.

15:12 Having to listen to an ex-colleague who called up to talk to me about why I hadn't worked with him for 10 years. He apologised for being a rabid freebase addict then but is clean and a Buddhist now. I knew that. He had forgotten that I only saw him 6 years ago and he was really drunk and aggressive and unpleasant so the Romo steel curtains came down. I'm like that. Be as horrible as you like for as long as you like - I'll take it - then boom! Steel shutters engage. I will not speak to you again. I am almost having a coronary from the shock of being put on the spot, actually sort of enjoying talking to him again but kind of not either whilst I am power-walking next to a busy A-road of filthy traffic. I walk over Twickenham Bridge - he is still talking at me really loudly and has been for at least 5 mins - I fantasise about throwing my phone into the river - I see it in slow motion. I couldn't as my arm has the equivalent of lockjaw.

15:35 Now waiting for another bus with Son of Romo showing off to his friends doing karate at the bus stop and blocking most pedestrians that are trying to squeeze by.

15:45 Bus 1 arrives. It's full. Doesn't stop.

15:55 (Could have walked by now but a mother I am talking to can't be bothered and won't).
Bus arrives. Not In Service.

15:58 Bus arrives but he won't let us on as he says in sign language that he needs a break. He sits there reading a paper for ten mins with the doors locked. It is now raining. Wanker.

16:10 Stop by the mechanics at the end of the road. He looks at me sheepishly and says he has had one of those days. We laugh - yes me too. He can't even look at the car until tomorrow and looks very worried - he is worried that the radiator has gone. I decide to not think about it. We walk back out into the rain.

17:04 Terrible rasping screams coming from the front room. Son of Romo writhing in pain because he 'can't live without the telly'. He looks like he is channelling The Omen. I try to re-boot the cable box. Nothing works. It's all freezing and cutting out and highly annoying. Oh well, it's a dvd then. Possessed demon rasps: I haaaate dvd's. I say: Do you want cheese on your pasta pesto? And walk away before the hex is upon me.

20:00 Have made fishcakes. Oven has been on for an hour but still not hot - just warm.

21:00 Fishcakes have been in an hour - but still not hot - just poisoningly warm.

22:00 Eating burnt grilled fishcakes.

Aaaaaghhhhhhhhh!

That Barking Sex Doll PIcture and others from my phone

2008-09-30T09:57:00.017Z

Yes - they were having a picnic in the NCP car park in Richmond last Wednesday. Insane.

Filming in Barking - oh the beauty.

That sex doll from Barking - strangled with her own arms. I discovered her when I went for a wee. Wasn't nice. But I wee'd all the same.

More poor sex doll from Barking.

Unfortunately I knocked all the precariously placed cans off the shelf with a soft rubber ball at a funfair - much to the delight of my son and to the total bemusement of the stall owner seeing as no one is ever meant to win. Come on Scooby - let's strap you in. He's going 'on holiday' soon. It's a one-way ticket I think.

One of Boy George's entourage outside gay bar Profiles opposite work - quite possibly the worst track suit of all time. D&G leopard polyester reflective nightmare.

Out walking on the Thames embankment with my Dad - I presume it is paint.

The only time I have ever toe'd the line.

My Dad made and stuck this to a bag of birthday presents for me much earlier this year and wonders why he 'got so many funny looks' on the tube while he was carrying it.

Graffiti - haven't got a clue what it all means.

Family with a tiny dog and deep plum hair having an argument outside Carluccio's. Mother kept quiet. I'm not surprised. She looked a bit disappointed too. Weary.

Fag Sov Ring Go Go Dancers

2008-09-28T09:31:00.005Z

A big thanks to Mr Planet Mondo for finding this. For years I have kept an unlabelled vhs tape with me wherever I go - from bedsit, from bar to street to bookie (no not really that was from Up The Junction by Squeeze but it's such a great line!) to shared flat, to another shared flat, to one more flat and finally to my own house. We don't have a vhs player that works in the house anymore despite them being un-thrown away and languishing in a cupboard somewhere. It has Tom Jones 72 Special DO NOT ERASE written on it in furious pencil. It has survived and I really must get it transferred to dvd before it gets too old and worn to play properly. Like a sad geek I have trawled the internet into the early hours on many an evening to find the whole programme and have found almost all of it apart from this - which is one of the highlights of the special alongside Tom's duet with Ella Fitzgerald which I posted up last month. Then of course there was Little Richard, Joe Cocker and Johnny Cash. But Sammy Davis Jr's version of Stevie Wonder's For Once In My Life is perfect in every way. I love his voice, his outfit, his fag (he must have put the drink down just out of shot on that occasion), the dancers (the one to his left is/was his wife Altoise) and of course the vertical stripes - who said horizontal stripes are unflattering?

Music and performances like this make me happy.

Yeah!

Mon Dieu!

2008-09-27T09:46:00.004Z

Good grief - Iggy Pop wears Crocs in Cannes shocker!

No - you are not allowed to laugh at the stack shoe as he has one leg quite a bit shorter than the other and a really bad back. He may be the only person in the world I have to force myself to forgive for wearing such abominable footwear.

He's A Nut! He's Crazy In The Coconut!

2008-09-26T23:44:00.004Z

Whatever happened to The Avalanches? They were a great band and Kuntz and Maguire made one of the best videos ever - here it is:

But what does it all mean? Which reminds me - I saw Bobby Gillespie walking through Soho today singing like an absent-minded child in the sun.

A Week In My Brain

2008-09-19T08:26:00.014Z

Woke up at the weekend with the word obfuscate rattling around my brain. God knows why. I have to go and look it up in the dictionary. Definition: To darken; to obscure; to becloud; hence, to confuse; to bewilder. Kind of sums up my life right now. Weird. Went to work - at some point in the day someone mentioned The Feeling - dreadful band - I then have one of their early hits whirling around my brain torturing me for hours. Then I start wondering whether this means they are a good band after all seeing as I can remember the lyrics practically word for word. I don't like The Feeling - why is this happening?

I have been filming for two days under the crackling pylons of Barking and Dagenham. I am convinced the pylons are making my two fillings hurt. It feels like the Bermuda Triangle of lost London. We were filming in a nature reserve nestling amongst the urban sprawl of flattened factories and remediated land that will become 'Barkingside' - a huge housing estate with a lake in the middle. The nature reserve is an interesting place - I saw porn mags and crisp packets in a glade. I saw a lot of evidence of dumping - sad piles of childrens plastic toys unlovingly entwined with dirty clothes and bottles with old piss in them. I saw apple trees, blackberries and rosehips too. I saw bus stops to nowhere and spoke to the armed police unit that regularly patrol the area. I wasn't sure if this made me feel less or more safe to be honest. Then I went for a wee behind a bush and saw a blow-up sex doll that had been strangled with it's own arms. (I have been trying to upload the picture from my phone but fecking bluetooth packed up). The image of sadistic plastic was more than alarming. I suddenly felt as if I was in an out-take of Blair Witch Project gone wrong and went a bit panicky.

Later I turn my attention to ebay - some how I find myself in a bidding war for these:

I didn't win them. Everytime I bid some arse bid £1.00 more. Finally that arse won - her name is stacey666lee. I hate her and hope she breaks her ankle.

Suddenly it's Monday again and when I wake up I sink back into the pillow thinking 'aaahhh' the weekend. Wrong! It's Monday. Oh the pain. On the way to work I see a lady walking down the road hitching up her skirt. It's Soho - there are all sorts at all times of the morning but for some reason I am dreading walking past her. But I do. Off she goes - hitching and hoiking up her skirt. Her knee flesh wobbles like un-cooked cod. My stomach does a grimacy-flutter and I walk on chanting 'oh no oh no oh no'.

This cheers me up

I must do a podcast soon....I really must.

Palinwatch

2008-09-07T21:46:00.004Z

Oh dear. I don't think anyone noticed the little girl bottom right who I believe to be possibly one of Sarah Palin's ridiculously named children (Piper (Alpha Disaster), Trig (onometry), Bristol (Cream), Willow (weeping with parents so mad and misguided) and Track (and Field)) gesticulating to a little boy at the Mat-Su's Governer's Annual Picnic. I found this on Sarah Palin's government site. I might have to send it to a national newspaper or two.

Buddy and Stacey - Shotgun

2008-09-01T01:05:00.005Z

Here are Buddy and Stacey singing Shotgun - with a very young Jimi Hendrix back left moving and a grooving to the kicking track!

Recorded live on Night Train July 1965

And here is mad bad Sarah Palin - she likes a shotgun I heard - to shoot moose and make stew out of it? Perhaps she has some McCain Oven Fries on the side? Here she is with her friends dressed up as moose-seeking Vikings - please no - tell me she doesn't have a chance in hell.

Now where did I put that shotgun?

Writing In Green Ink On The Piccadilly Line

2008-08-30T23:26:00.006Z

23 Aug 2008:

I love my Dad so much. He is a funny old hotch-potch. A bit like me really - which is encouraging seeing as we are directly related. This morning he is a breath of fresh air in this age of the separated communication of text and electronic mail.

'The next stop is South Ealing'

He lives a simple life and appreciates real things like a bit of nice cheese here and there, old picture frames and writing with old fashioned ink pens.

'Acton Town is interchange only. Passengers wishing to alight at Acton Town must cross the platform and take the next train to Ealing Common where there is a replacement bus service back to Acton Town'

Thank christ my Dad isn't travelling with me - he would spontaneously organise a furious sit-in, a noisy riot. He would scale a wall to get out of the station or would start shouting at the guard. But he is with me - I am reading one of his wonderful, scratchyfluent hand-written letters which prompted me to write this. Being a chip off the old block I boarded the train rather agitated as I realised that I had nothing to read for the next 15 stops.

'The next station is Hammersmith'

Nothing - not even last night's discarded and stale free paper. Sitting still with nothing to do except stare at other passengers is just too boring to imagine and I am not in the mood for playing the fallback option 'who in this carriage would you shag if you had to' game. As it happens, I am glancing around - ugh - no - none of them. What if the world depended on it? More people are coming on. Let's see.

No.

Four massive guts, two extreme double chins, four sensible shoe wearers and a 20-something who is wearing sunglasses inside and um..excuse me...we are in a tunnel now.

Yes but the world depends on it!! Oh, hang on..at a push I suppose I could muster...oh no...he's reading The Daily Record. It looks worse than The Daily Sport. Anyway, my Dad saved me. I remembered that I received a letter from him this morning and shoved it in my bag as I left the house.

'The next station is Gloucester Road. Change here for the Circle Line'

What a beautiful letter and how funny. He does the same thing as me - writes like this - with lots of dashes - and exclamation marks! Like this! We have the same sense of humour and both write very fast. Perhaps that is what it is. It's really nice to get a proper letter, written in proper ink on proper thick paper. He even does little drawings too. So lovely. I used to write letters all the time - and postcards. Now I just seem to e mail and text copiously. I worked on a big international media project last year and from Feb to July I received 9,483 e mails - absolutely ridiculous. I had a day like that yesterday - received around 72. We are filming next week so lots to organise and lots of last minute questions/stuff to sort - but even so! Can't you just pick up the phone? I did that yesterday and the person on the other end sounded genuinely shocked as if spoken communication was an odd thing to be involving yourself in these days.

So here I am writing in a book (black moleskine with squared paper) in fine emerald green pen which I could scan and post up but very few of you could read my 'I should have been a doctor)'s writing. So I shall be modern and type it all up. My Dad's great letter was the seed which grew into the sapling of an idea and despite the fact his letter and this is handwritten, it has all been processed and become part of the technologyjam that is giving us all pinksore eyes and bloggers bottoms.

Adieu. I'm off to work with Terry Callier, Iggy and the Stooges, and Sparks. I'm so excited.

'Covent Garden'.

I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

LISTEN AND VOTE FOR ALL MY PODCASTS HERE - new one coming soon...promise...just don't hassle me...it makes me nervous!

Meme Myself and I

2008-08-11T06:54:00.006Z

Meme. Oh it's all the rage you know - so I have jumped on the memewagon while it is trundling down the road - a smattering of my favourite bloggers The Urban Woo, Billy, and Slaminsky have done it too. Here goes:

1. My uncle once: threatened my Grandmother’s unrequited lesbian stalker with a steel fire poker

2. Never in my life: been skiiing

3. When I was five: I stuck silver stars on my face and pouted

4. High school was: unforgivably the worst

5. I will never forget: my friend who I wish was still alive

6. Once I met: Diana Dors at a film premiere as a child

7. There’s this girl I know: whose passive aggressive nature really upsets me

8. Once, at a pub: I poured a whole pint of beer over a bloke’s head who was patronising me as he dumped me – he was a really screwed up psychoanalyst who eventually left the profession

9. By noon, I’m usually: starting to lose concentration

10. Last night: I tried to get my partner to understand it was better for him to move out than disrupt our child further by me and our child moving out

11. If only I had: a magic flying carpet

12. Next time I go to church: it will probably be for my beloved and most favourite godfather’s funeral – I am dreading it.

13. What worries me most: me or my son dying in a freak accident and apart

14. When I turn my head left I see: a lovely dark chocolate brown Robin Day Forum sofa and me reflected in a big mirror behind it

15. When I turn my head right I see: fruit, a book by Ronan Bennett, plasticine that has been cut into dalek shapes, the garden

16. You know I’m lying when: I insist and my voice goes so unbearably shrill it could shatter a glass

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: being able to wear really slutty clothes and get away with it and fun

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: in the Comedy of Errors

19. By this time next year: I'll have hopefully sorted out what is currently plaguing me

20. A better name for me would be: Ms A Polaris – like a missile and straight to the point

21. I have a hard time understanding: sudoku – why does it exist?

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: burn it down

23. You know I like you if: I invite you to places and chat incessantly in a very open way

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the person that gave me the break in the first place

25. Take my advice, never: lie – it’s so disappointing

26. My ideal breakfast is: scrambled or soft-boiled eggs on toast with ketchup and hot chilli sauce and a light dusting of freshly ground black pepper

27. A song I love but do not have is: “Don’t You Think I’m Psycho Mama”? by Leon White (weird Country and Western)

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: have a pint by the pond

29. Why won’t people: stop being so horrible to children?

30. If you spend a night at my house: you would be cooked for, have endless wine poured into your glass, have lots of chats and probably stay up far too late – there would be lots of laughter, music and even an odd game of Scrabble if you are lucky and you would be encouraged to help yourself to anything and you would have towels that would be placed neatly at the bottom of your bed

31. I’d stop my wedding for: someone else suddenly coming along at the last minute who was the ‘real one’

32. The world could do without: BT, McDonalds and the politics of fear

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: have to go on the game for a living

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Cate Blanchett, Debbie Harry, Captain Sensible and Iggy Pop

35. Paper clips are more useful than: those string tie document fastener thingys

36. If I do anything well it’s: because I can’t bear unthoroughness

37. I can’t help but: worry about stuff past gone or in the future

38. I usually cry: really easily – even on the train reading a sad story in the free newspaper

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: do what you like and be who you like but don’t bother with hard drugs

40. And by the way: life is what you make it

Isaac Hayes Dead at 65

2008-08-10T22:01:00.004Z

Yes - Isaac Hayes, the enigmatic and fantastically talented musician and singer has died at 65 - too young as far as I am concerned. The picture above is of one of my most favourite and very played albums of his - Live at the Sahara Tahoe. I am sure many just think all Isaac Hayes ever did was sing Shaft and voice the part of the chef in South Park - but no - here is a tiny pocket guide to the breadth of his performing, composing and writing talents.

Not many people know that....

Isaac Hayes was a self-taught musician

Isaac Hayes was hired in 1964 by Stax Records as back-up pianist and saxophonist working as a session musician for big names such as Otis Redding.

Isaac Hayes wrote big hits for Sam and Dave such as Hold On, I'm Coming and Soul Man.

Isaac Hayes didn't get a recording contract until the age of 26 in 1969 - he then shot to fame with the release his groundbreaking and influential album Hot Buttered Soul.

Isaac Hayes scored the soundtrack to the film Shaft. It was a number one hit in 1971. He won an Academy Award for the title song and was nominated for another one for the entire score. The song and score also won him two Grammys.

Isaac Hayes appeared in several films including It Could Happen to You with Nicolas Cage and Ninth Street with Martin Sheen.

Isaac Hayes was a Scientologist - which is why he quit South Park in 2006 after they released an episode where Scientologists were made fun of and lampooned.

Isaac Hayes was married four times and has 12 children.

Isaac Hayes was a unique talent and the music world will be a slightly emptier place without him.

Rest well Isaac.

Sunny Duets of Sunny

2008-08-08T21:50:00.005Z

One of my all time favourite songs is Sunny. There are many versions in existence - Stevie Wonder, Georgie Fame, Bobby Hebb and even James Brown and the Dee Felice Trio as featured on one of my earlier podcasts at some point within the last year. But here is really one of the finest and now very rare and unique versions of that song: Tom Jones and Ella Fitzgerald from a Tom Jones TV Special in 1970. I have the entire show on a very worn vhs tape which bears half a torn sticker with Tom Jones DO NOT ERASE scribbled across it in faded pencil. In fact - I must get it transferred to dvd before it totally crumbles. It features Tom Jones singing with Joe Cocker, Little Richard, Johnny Cash, Ella Fitzgerald and others. It really is wonderful. After years of searching youtube it has finally surfaced - it is at the wrong aspect ratio but nevermind - it really is something else. Here it is:

Tom Jones - the only welshman with soul and Ella whose voice sounded so young and so sweet even as an old lady. How to do a cover version properly page one. I hope you enjoyed it.

The Fine Art of Noshing vs Scoffing

2008-08-08T13:18:00.004Z

For those of you in the world that missed it - here is Giles Coren's fantastically rude but correct letter to the sub-editor of The Times. He was a bit pissed off.

Chaps,

I am mightily pissed off. I have addressed this to Owen, Amanda and Ben because I don't know who i am supposed to be pissed off with (i'm assuming owen, but i filed to amanda and ben so it's only fair), and also to Tony, who wasn't here - if he had been I'm guessing it wouldn't have happened.

I don't really like people tinkering with my copy for the sake of tinkering. I do not enjoy the suggestion that you have a better ear or eye for how I want my words to read than I do. Owen, we discussed your turning three of my long sentences into six short ones in a single piece, and how that wasn't going to happen anymore, so I'm really hoping it wasn't you that fucked up my review on saturday.

It was the final sentence. Final sentences are very, very important. A piece builds to them, they are the little jingle that the reader takes with him into the weekend.

I wrote: "I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for a nosh."

It appeared as: "I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for nosh."

There is no length issue. This is someone thinking "I'll just remove this indefinite article because Coren is an illiterate cunt and i know best".

Well, you fucking don't.
This was shit, shit sub-editing for three reasons.
1) 'Nosh', as I'm sure you fluent Yiddish speakers know, is a noun formed from a bastardisation of the German 'naschen'. It is a verb, and can be construed into two distinct nouns. One, 'nosh', means simply 'food'. You have decided that this is what i meant and removed the 'a'. I am insulted enough that you think you have a better ear for English than me. But a better ear for Yiddish? I doubt it. Because the other noun, 'nosh' means "a session of eating" - in this sense you might think of its dual valency as being similar to that of 'scoff'. you can go for a scoff. or you can buy some scoff. the sentence you left me with is shit, and is not what i meant. Why would you change a sentnece aso that it meant something i didn't mean? I don't know, but you risk doing it every time you change something. And the way you avoid this kind of fuck up is by not changing a word of my copy without asking me, okay? it's easy. Not. A. Word. Ever.

2) I will now explain why your error is even more shit than it looks. You see, i was making a joke. I do that sometimes. I have set up the street as "sexually-charged". I have described the shenanigans across the road at G.A.Y.. I have used the word 'gaily' as a gentle nudge. And "looking for a nosh" has a secondary meaning of looking for a blowjob. Not specifically gay, for this is soho, and there are plenty of girls there who take money for noshing boys. "looking for nosh" does not have that ambiguity. the joke is gone. I only wrote that sodding paragraph to make that joke. And you've fucking stripped it out like a pissed Irish plasterer restoring a renaissance fresco and thinking jesus looks shit with a bear so plastering over it. You might as well have removed the whole paragraph. I mean, fucking christ, don't you read the copy?

3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

I am sorry if this looks petty (last time i mailed a Times sub about the change of a single word i got in all sorts of trouble) but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing. I have been away, you've been subbing joe and hugo and maybe they just file and fuck off and think "hey ho, it's tomorrow's fish and chips" - well, not me. I woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there, furious, for two hours. weird, maybe. but that's how it is.

It strips me of all confidence in writing for the magazine. No exaggeration. i've got a review to write this morning and i really don't feel like doing it, for fear that some nuance is going to be removed from the final line, the pay-off, and i'm going to have another weekend ruined for me.

I've been writing for The Times for 15 years and i have never asked this before - i have never asked it of anyone i have written for - but I must insist, from now on, that i am sent a proof of every review i do, in pdf format, so i can check it for fuck-ups. and i must be sent it in good time in case changes are needed. It is the only way i can carry on in the job.

And, just out of interest, I'd like whoever made that change to email me and tell me why. Tell me the exact reasoning which led you to remove that word from my copy.

Right,
Sorry to go on. Anger, real steaming fucking anger can make a man verbose.
All the best
Giles

Iggy Pop and the Stooges Gear Stolen - A Favour

2008-08-05T12:42:00.008Z

Iggy and The Stooges are in the middle of a huge tour and have had all their gear and truck stolen. This is a disaster - some rare, vintage custom-built and therefore much coveted and irreplaceable kit has gone forever. Please read the following and help if you can. If you would rather remain anonymous then please send a message to the e mail on my profile and I will pass the information on.

Someone has to have seen or know something.

If anyone who reads this and lives in or near Montreal, Canada or if anyone has ANY INFORMATION - if you get any of the following gear offered to you as a dealer, private collector or even on Ebay - even if in passing you see something for sale that COULD be part of the below list DON'T HESITATE (photo's of some missing gear here):

please, please, PLEASE as soon as possible contact
Eric Fischer at:
nycentral13@gmail.com
cell phone: +1 646 932 1907

IGGY AND THE STOOGES
EQUIPMENT STOLEN ON AUGUST 4, 2008
OUTSIDE THE EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL
208 SAINT ANTOINE OUEST,
MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA

all equipment was in a rented penske 15 foot yellow truck
with u.s. (michigan) license plate number AC46493
parked immediately outside the hotel, the theft had to have happened in the morning, between 6:30 and 7:30 am -

truck and all gear stolen

pictures of some of the stolen stuff

Item Country of Origin Serial Number

Red roadcase containing:
Red Gibson 1963 EB-3 bass (this is mike watt's bass!) USA No serial number

Black roadcase containing:r
Reverend Flying V guitar - Volcano black USA #08001

Black roadcase containing:
Reverend Orange guitar USA 03416 ZSL7

Black fibre case containg:
Gibson red SG short scale bass USA No serial number

Black roadcase containing:
Marshall Vintage/Modern Amplifier UK M-2007-07-0926-2 RoHS

Black roadcase containing:
Marshall Vintage/Modern Amplifier UK M-2007-07-0927-2 RoHS

4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #1 Slant: M-2007-05-0149-0

4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #2 Straight: M-2006-49-0380-0

4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #3 Slant: M-2007-05-0150-0

4x Marshall 4x12 Cabinets (with Tuki cover) UK #4 Straight: M-2006-49-0381-0

Orange Calzone road case containing:
Guitar pedal board and pedals USA/Japan No serial number
Assorted leads USA/UK No serial number
2x mic stands Germany No serial number
Assorted strings and spares USA No serial number
plus:
2x Boss TU2 Chromatic Tuner
Boss CH1 Super Chorus
Fulltone OCD Overdrive
Crybaby Wah
Peterson Strobo-Stomp Tuner Pedal
Whirlwind A/B Boxes
Whirlwind Cable Tester
and many many istrument cables
various tools ( screwdrivers, soldering iron, pliers, etc... )
tambourine and maracas

Cardboard box containing:
Assorted replacement drum heads USA No serial number

Gretsch Silver Sparkle Catalina drum kit USA No serial number
26" Kick Drum No serial number
13" Rack Tom No serial number
18" Floor Tom No serial number
4x Cymbal Stands No serial number
1x Snare Stand No serial number
1x Hi Hat Stand No serial number
1x Drum Throne No serial number

Eden D810 Bass cabinet USA D810RP4 0703E5001

Eden D810 Bass cabinet USA D810RP4 0703E5002

Cardboard box containg:
Eden VT300 Bass amplifier USA 0601E5115

Cardboard box containg:
Eden VT300 Bass amplifier USA 0507E5033

Floor Fan CHINA No serial number

Floor Fan CHINA No serial number

Green clamshell suitcase containing:
Yamaha snare drum JAPAN No serial number
Yahama kick pedal JAPAN No serial number
Zildjian Mega Bell cymbal USA No serial number
Zildjian 15" Hi-Hats USA No serial number
3x Zildjian 18" 19" 20" crash medium cymbals USA No serial number

Brown Epiphone guitar case:
Black Epiphone EB3 short scale bass KOREA F300503

1 x Wheeled Black Pelican case (50cm x 28cm x 20cm) containing :
A selection of microphones and microphone accessories, most of which are in separately labeled black pouches. All of the microphones are of Shure manufacture, also a BSS DI box. Inside the Pelican case there is also a Ferrari pencil case containing an iPod, iPod accessories, various small cables and adaptors, a Leatherman Charge, a Stooges AAA tour laminate, some pain killers, some sharpies, some electrical tape, some business cards (Mr Rik Hart). Within the case there is also a big pair of Sony headphones (model MDR7506) with a long curly cable and three very long XLR to XLR mic cables. Here's a more specific list of the microphones :
2 x SM91
5 x SM98
2 x B98
2 x SM81
2 x KSM32
1 x KSM27
2 x B52
3 x SM57
8 x SM58
1 x BSS AR-133 DI Box
(all manufactured by shure)

http://www.hootpage.com/stoogesstolenstuff/stoogesstolenstuff.html

mike watt's hoot page

Thanks.

Allons Y Ma Petit Choux Buns

2008-07-25T07:56:00.005Z

I'm off to France for 5 days to see my Dad. Behave children won't you? I shall bring back some tinned moules marinieres and some tight-fitting dayglo espadrilles for each and every one of you. I will have no internet access at all (OHMYGOD - how am I going to cope?) I will have no landline, no phone signal and apparently no gas. It is a little adventure. I have taken a tent in case 'the barn' which last time I heard didn't have a roof still doesn't have one...depeche toi...mais oui mais oui.....une baguette sil vous plait....le singe est dans l'arbre...Yvette est dans le salle a manger...zut alors! My French is astounding.

Here is the worst song ever about going to France:

And here is one of the best French songs ever:

Adieu mon dieu les enfants. Mwah...mwah....mwah. xx

Stereo MC's - On 33

2008-07-23T22:53:00.002Z

What a bloody corker of a track this is. 1989. On 33. Stereo MC's. One of my favourite bands ever. I always thought Rob looked a bit wispy and scary in a really stoned sort of way. He has very unhealthily sunken cheeks. This sort of music inspires me to another podcast. Sharpen your ears dears - there is one in the making....for now you will have to regress with this.

Just what is it that you want to do?
We wanna be free
We wanna be free to do what we wanna do
And we wanna get loaded
And we wanna have a good time

I had a great time in my Stereo MC days - it's all a bit hazy now - like really smoky and sweet-smelling - aaahhh those were the days.

Switch It On Dear

2008-07-18T23:58:00.004Z

Yes, I think we can hear it. It's a podcast coming through loud and clear. No 19. Is that all? You can listen to and download it here

Don't forget to vote! I have slipped to just outside the Top 50 downloads which simply will not do. Please spread the word of The Rockmother. You know it makes sense.

Muttonmother

2008-07-15T20:39:00.008Z

Oh dear - I really must revive my flagging blogposting-ness. I've been far too busy fending off 54 unwanted Hold'em Poker requests and Compare Your Friends Pants surveys on c*ntbook to even get time to concoct a blog post. I've even been enveigled into playing Scrabble at 08:00 of a morning and once been late to take the ginger Squidget to school as a result of feverishly 'trying to place my bingo!'. For those not in the know of really important online things such as Scrabularse - that's when you score 80 points with one word. All I got was a request to fill the late book and a bit of a scowl from the school receptionist. Cow.

I made a purchase this week. I made a ridiculous purchase this week. I made a purchase so thoroughly ridiculous that when I described it to my friend Thom yesterday he genuinely snorted like a pig. I knew he wouldn't understand - he was born in 1982 for god's sake. Anyway, back to my story.

Are you sitting comfortably? (You will need to sit down - just warning you). Now I'll begin.

Once upon a time, I had a pair of trousers I was really proud of. It was 1979. I was 13. I'm not quite sure what happened to those lovely trousers. I think they were impounded and thrown away by my mother who was scared that I would 'become wild' if I wore them any longer. So this weekend I was working in Covent Garden and went for a bit of a wander into Urban Outfitters - a favourite clothes haunt of mine. I picked up this and that and tried a few things on. And then I saw theeeeeese:

Pink and black faded leopard print very very very tight jeans. If you can imagine the picture above is really a much shorter 3-dimensional plasticine model and if you squash it a bit with your hand so it splurges out the sides and looks a bit fatter - that's what I look like in them. Actually, not that bad but not quite svelte 13 again that's for sure. I had a 'hang on, do I look a bit mutton in them moment - for about a millisecond - and then in a fit of revisited teenage fever I bought them.
So far - I have worn them in the changing room of the shop twice (you see - I really did have to convince myself) and once in the bathroom at home. I was thinking recently that I should probably try and lose half a stone. I have done a lot of running in my head but so far not any real life running. I was sort of experimenting with the idea of whether I could indeed think myself thin? I bought the trousers thinking that they would be the catalyst for a rigorous self-induced weight-loss programme but rather fantastically because they are so tight they squidge everything cleverly re-distributing here and there and I actually don't look that bad in them at all.

Goodness knows when I shall wear them but I shall.

mutton

Noun

1. the flesh of mature sheep, used as food

2. mutton dressed as lamb an older woman dressed up to look young [Medieval Latin multo sheep]

In the continuing absence of a Listen With Rockmother podcast please listen to this instead - it is much better than anything I could ever dream of doing and was originally broadcast on 12th October 1976 - I remember exactly where I was when I first heard it. We made sure we stayed in especially.

And if you are still with me - check out this man - a one true diamond of this hard cold world. I had the absolute pleasure of working and talking with him yesterday. I am very lucky.

PS: blogger is rubbish and has decided that everything shoud be in italics even though I keep telling it not to.

Bacofoil Anyone?

2008-07-06T00:03:00.003Z

Goodness, Agnetha looks reaaally pissed off doesn't she? I can sort of see why. What on earth were they thinking of? I know - let's wrap ourselves in a continuous strip of Bacofoil and stand in front of the Swedish flag - it'll look really good I promise. Do you think they used a whole roll? And do you think they went 'commando' or were they wearing pants? I wonder if they recycled it for a slap up barbecue after the shoot?

It's the Wimbledon Men's Final tomorrow - yaaaaawnnn - Geoff has written a great piece on the demise of tennis due to that hateful extra inch. I wholeheartedly agree with him and would rather watch this - it is infinitely more entertaining. Check out the serve action.

Toodlepip. Sayonara. Kalimera. Adios. Night night. Good morning. Hello. Bye. Later.

I Am An Idiot

2008-07-05T22:39:00.012Z

Rather scarily my hard drive is nearly full. This is mainly due to the fact I have nearly 6000 photo's stored in my iPhoto. 6000!? I know - and most of them are of my son or his things (see above) or really unflattering ones he has taken of me whilst I'm driving the car or extreme close ups of my bottom as I am bending over in my bikini on holiday - horrendous . And I have a lot of music stored too. Big hefty files. So I bought an external pocket drive. Today I transferred all my photo's across to it which means I can now delete the originals on the hard drive in order to free up space. Yes. That makes perfect sense. Even though I know and can see that all of the photo's have transferred successfully to the external drive I can not bring myself to delete the originals clogging up the hard drive. I just can't do it. I have a mortal fear of something going wrong and losing the photo's forever. I am a true idiot. A dolt. A silly bird. So I'm going to take it into work on Monday and embarrass myself further by showing it all to an IT person and sit there while they look at me pretending not to show that they think I am a total moron whilst convincing me that it really is absolutely fine just to delete the files. All 8GB of them. But before I do - here are some I took today of the Squidget and a balloon that we drew a face onto and released.

She gazes adoringly...

Balloonhead
Oooh..help...I'm not sure
Off she goes...(excuse the pyjamas)

Well, it's better than watching telly or pulling wings off flies or doing sensible things like deleting files you don't need anymore because you have just made a perfectly good back-up copy.

Square Eyes

2008-06-26T20:51:00.003Z

Tonight - I am mainly watching extremely shit telly. I need to. I'm already halfway through Gok's Fashion Fix which will segue into the most revolting reality show for quite some time - Celebrity Rehab - oh yes!

I found this today - Chaka Khan playing the drums! Far out baby.

Normal service will be resumed by tomorrow.

The Stuff Of Nightmares

2008-06-25T23:48:00.013Z

Mine. No it 's mine now.

So Robert Mugabe gets stripped of his knighthood and it is given to Salman Rushdie instead - cue the resurgence of the fatwa that everyone forgot about...goodness...spin and politics has come a long way - especially as the move seems to be rather conveniently coinciding with the Mandela concert celebration. Naomi - naaaaaaaoooow! You can't come on stage - you can stay at the very back of the top tier because you've been bad and for god's sake don't wear that hat with my prison number on it again you cow. Amy - naaaaaaooooow! You can't meet Mr Mandela as your lifestyle isn't something we would like to align ourselves with thank you you wheezy young girl you. Well that put them in their place didn't it? The stuff of nightmares.

The politics of fear. And real fear. Fear.....and tall buildings....that rotate...on different floors...at different times. Even looking at the rather crudely put together press promo film here makes me want to cry with utter fear. The London Eye is bad enough - I spent the top third section sitting on the middle bench having to look at my fingernail in macro detail in order to block out any peripheral vision until we were 'over the hump' as it were. Hideous. Anyway - back to the Dubai 79 independently revolving floors at any one time building - very clever and supposedly energy efficient which must be a good thing but by god - how scary is it? You won't get me there - ever. I still get recurrent nightmares of driving over the West Gate bridge in Melbourne.

It is like a steep coil crossed with a rollercoaster. Try driving with vertigo - not funny. In fact, so un-funny I still dream about it but in my dream the road runs out but I always wake up on time. Funny that?

Start Monday With This And Be Happy All Week

2008-06-22T23:19:00.004Z

Here is a classic - a rare longer version of Kool and the Gang's Summer Madness with vocals mixed by Roy Ayers - play it and the rest of the week will be balmy and summery and woozy - perfect.

Puppies Needed

2008-06-22T22:01:00.004Z

Good god - no wonder she lost the race - sack the stylist! Can someone please get Senator Clinton a bra NOW? Well Hillary could get her own bra - a Wonderbra and enter their new competition - from D to G or something like that. Harumph - a little sizeist for those who sport a mere B cup thank you...Anyway - I am surprised LC hasn't written about this yet seeing as he is the bloggers boob man at large but I digress. Wonderbra are running a competitiion - anyone can enter. I did say boobs not moobs just in case any of my male readers were thinking this was their only chance for a long-awaited 15 minutes of moobfame. Get yourself down to 1a Leicester Square on 28th June. Once you are in you will be probably herded like a sheep that no one likes into various places to fill in a form about yourself and wait and wait and wait. Finally, it will be your turn to take your top off and have your photo taken - the emphasis being on cleavage. Yes - Wonderbra want your cleavage! Some lucky person will end up on huge billboards - a homage to the original 'hello boys' campaign as fronted by Eva Herzigova. This time it could be you (or me) or you (or me) or you.

Kiss my cleavage Wonderbra!

The Fall In The Back Of My Notebook - Discovered

2008-06-21T14:48:00.002Z

I think I meant to post this in April but have only just found it scribbled and lost in the back of last months notebook. I worked with Mark E Smith and The Fall in April 2008, Iread his book and I listened to their new album. Here are my scribbled notes from that time. I have transcribed them as is grammatical errors and note-form abound.

The anticipation.
Can I pare down the rider a bit? Just 40 fags and 48 cans of Holstein Pils then? Legends aren’t often as legend-like when you eventually meet them. With legends – the stories of legend precede them. Most are often embellished or misunderstood or a misunderstanding that have two sides to the story – one often unheard. The thing I have always liked about Mark E Smith is his scary ordinariness. I always liked the fact he dressed how he did/does. He has had a lot of flak about it over the years – people seem to forget that most punks in ’76 started out dressing like that. Generally, it was because most people in bands starting out were in jobs and the bands were also born out of pub rock. Punk evolved out of pub rock. So many bands have been referred to as punk like Eddie and the Hot Rods. They weren’t ever punk – they were a pub rock band. Ian Curtis was like that. He always wore smart trousers and a shirt. Same thing.

Imperial Wax Solvent starts out very unexpectedly gently with Alton Towers. I like the off-set rhythms and the nightmarish seesaw of funfair churn. A sort of musical queasiness – it sounds bewitching and entrancing but it is really very bad and a bit sinister. I’ve Been Duped –great sound and strength of sound. Raw – can hear it. Mark can sing too – and rasp and drawl. Latchkey Kid – conjures up lots of images – the boy in Kes for some reason and my revisited feeling of putting my own key in the door knowing no one would be home for hours. A slightly sinking lonely feeling in a way.

He made an entrance – behind the curtain, pink and black carrier bag, a plastic bag. Greenaway (guitar) looking terrified, Melling looking hard and Spurr toughing it out – the energy. Quick and fast and to the point. What you see is what you get. No more. No less. Was I the only one tapping my foot? One camera operator spent the whole time dwith his mouth agape in a seizure-style skeletal grin-ace. A sort of half grin half grimace. Mark E Smith moved slowly and with measured purpose. Very relaxed. Not bothered by the criss-cross of mic cables gathering around his ankles. No one flinched when he whacked up the bass amp – that’s better. He raged through Wolf Kidult. Latchkey Kid petered out with Mark E Smith deciding enough was enough and that was it. Come on kids. I saw him secretly laughing. I like the military precision of the band. Down tools, all walk off single file. Most obedient.

Alton Towers – kaleidoscopic nausea. Always on cue – every time. Fresh, exciting and new – does what it says on the tin as endorsed by MES. I went for a walk in cyberspace . Someone has bothered to make a suitcase font of Mark E Smith’s writing. For god’s sake – what would you need that for? Anyway – I have some of my own as he very kindly signed my book for me.

Keiron M (drums) looked at one point as if he was psychically trying to tell Mark E Smith that he was dying and couldn’t keep going for much longer such was the unforgiving and endless fantastic precision of his drumming. Likewise, Spurr had gone to somewhere else in finite bass land. Eleni looked effortlessly on top of everything and stood aside while Mark had one last fiddle with the Roland. Such was the energy that I felt as if I had run over a precipice Scooby Doo style – been waggling my legs round and round for 15 mins now. Suddenly – it was all over – bang crash thud to the ground. Back to un-Fall world.
I liked it over there.

© Rockmother 2008

Five Uneasy Pieces or Pic'n'Mix (Depending On How You Look At It

2008-06-10T23:30:00.014Z

5..4..3..2..1..Ready..Steady..Go! Goodness - how time flies. Here is a little synopsis of various posts that have been whirling around my head over the last two weeks. It's been a bit busy round here and I have been a bit distracted.....evidently.....by thinking about (in no particular order):

5. The prospect of being able to go to the cinema next year and watch Lemmy - The Movie. If the trailer is anything to go by I think it may be rather good despite Lemmy's terrible joke as featured below at the end of the trailer - I don't think Lemmy wears coats so cue the music, cue the tumbleweed....and be deaf forever

4. Enraged that The Daily Bloody Mirror decided to put "I lied about my gastric band op so what and now I'm all stressed out and have probably gorged on 100 packets of Ryvita because they don't make you thin anyway which is why I had the gastric band in the first place" Fern Britton - instead of beyond inspirational Pat Regan on the front page. Leave Fern Britton alone. It is pathetic. What's more newsworthy? Obviously not Pat Regan who made it to page 4. Pat Regan was an astounding person. A brilliant mother and victim of violence with the death of her eldest son that initiated her becoming active in the Mothers Against Violence campaign several years ago but ironically ended in her untimely and tragic death at the hands of her own grandson. I strongly feel that Pat Regan would have further changed law and made an even bigger and more positive difference to the current gun and knife related youth crime in this country had she lived. She already had. Truly devastating that she is no longer alive.

Pat Regan Activist Campaigner Mother 1955 - June 1 2008
Read more about Pat's phenomenal work here
Read more about Mothers Against Violence here

3. Felt a bit sad and sick seeing a heavily pregnant teenage girl with a packet of fags and mobile phone at the bus stop yesterday. She looked really defiant and was dressed in an outfit some people might deem to be 'inappropriate' for a young pregnant woman but it wasn't that that particularly bothered me - it was her attitude. She had a face of pure grump and her arm was cocked out over her bare tummy holding the fags and mobile aloft as if to say "yeah? what"?. It made me sad for the imminent baby and I wondered how many fags it had had already. Actually I wanted to cry.

2. Wondering why Peters and Lee were so funny?

And did Lenny get his glasses from the Innovations catalogue?

But why were Peters and Lee such a national joke - a bit like Mary Whitehouse or Fanny Craddock? Piley has done a nice little piece featuring Peters and Lee on Planet Mondo here.

1. Thinking about how funny a voice Annie Leibowitz has - New England clipped mixed with huge energy and excitement. A genius. See last night's Imagine here.

Lastly in the absence of a podcast which is also whirling around my head - here is a song for Friday - I dedicate it to all those either having a mid-life crisis or gorging on that popular chocolate bar Credit Crunch or both.

And some great obscure Russian poster art for a shoe factory I found.

Doors to manual darlinks - Romo Airlines - prepare for take-off.

Night night everyone.

The Rockmother Magic Ship Special Podcast

2008-05-31T20:57:00.006Z

Oooh the wonder of the bloggermusiverse! I have been very honoured to be asked to produce a Rockmother podcast special to unleash the new album Love Tel Motel by Magic Ship to the world. Do go and have a listen - it won't disappoint. It also gives you lots of brilliant information like where to buy or download the album from because you will want to hear more after you have listened to the podcast teaser. Magic Ship are a four-piece from the Twickenham area of London and have had the collective balls to get on with it and write, record, produce, mix, design and generally do everything you need to do to get an album out - they even have t-shirts and a distribution label !

And if you have a yearning to hear and see the album played live Magic Ship are actually doing just that next Friday 6th June at:
Ye White Hart , The Terrace, Barnes, London SW13.
Bus: 209 or 419 from Hammersmith or Richmond
Train: Barnes Bridge or Mortlake (mainline)
20:30 onwards band on at 22:00'ish

You can check out their main website here and here and browse their munterspace site here.

The podcast can be listened to at the main Listen With Rockmother Podcast Site
or you can click play below if you prefer the medium of Divvyshare:

Enjoy ladies and gentlemen and a special big thank you to Magic Ship for taking the brave leap into the void of Listen With Rockmother! One, two. Two. Two. Two. That's roadiespeak by the way.

Now that is my kind of motel. Cheerybye for now pop pickers x

From The Basement Weekender

2008-05-24T11:07:00.006Z

If you like good music yeah yeah and you like watching telly yeah yeah then tune in or set your Skybox this weekend to Sky Arts 267/268HD. Yes – beautifully simple and utterly engaging music series From The Basement is back! The ratings were so good that the lovely people at Sky have decided to run the first series again this weekend.

From The Basement is unique in the sense that it is purely artist led – no audience, no cheesy interviews, no annoying whizzy graphics – just bands doing their own thing in the studio. The icing on the cake is that the audio is recorded and mixed live by none other than uber-god Record Producer and From the Basement creator Nigel Godrich. Word on the street tells us that the next series out later this year will feature Radiohead, Mark E Smith and The Fall, Shortwave Set, Andrew Bird – and that is just for starters.

From the Basement Weekend kicks off today Sat 24 May at:
21:00 White Stripes/The Shins/Neil Hannon from Divine Comedy
21:50 Thom Yorke/Albert Hammond Jr/Envelopes
22:40 Beck/Jarvis Cocker/Jamie Liddell

Sun 25 May line up is:
21:00 Sonic Youth/Jose Gonzalez/Laura Marling
21:50 Super Furry Animals/PJ Harvey/Freeblood
22:40 Damien Rice/E from Eels/Architecture In Helsinki/Autolux

If you don’t have Sky then you can watch clips and see the new Radiohead preview here. And if that is still not enough then you can start saving up for the forthcoming Series One DVD with loads of extra’s out Autumn 2008.

Get Down!

2008-05-23T08:48:00.003Z

If you have had a shit week like me then watch this - it will make you feel so much better. You may even want to get down yourself my little funkateers. Soul Train - my favourite childhood programme apart from The Good Life, Rising Damp and George and Mildred. But seriously - what great dancing? This clip is from Soul Train 1971 - there is even some early robotics in there - fantastic. So twitch your noses and click your ruby slippers and be transported back....back.......baaaaaack.

And just to finish off - a selection of tv ads from 1977 including Atora suet in a bag! Pam Ayres Eat Meat Campaign poem! Early McDonalds - see the beginning of obesity timebomb - back to the scene of the crime!and some ad for non VPL panties! How simple our lives used to be........

Sayonara pop-pickers x

Jon Ronson In Sex In the City Shocker!

2008-05-16T22:30:00.012Z

Yes - you heard it here first - author and journalist Jon Ronson really is Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend!

Or are they just distantly related?!

Nice tie Jon.....I mean Christine.

Today We Are One Two Three FOUR!

2008-05-14T21:53:00.007Z

Crikey.
Lawks a lordy.
A Hazy Day Today Is Officially 4 years old today.

4 years
1460 days
35040 hours
2102400 minutes
1.2614400 seconds Error! (I am doing this on a calculator)
397 posts
50363 hits (harrumph - is that all?!)
68264 page views
43 page views a day on average
17 podcasts
‘Eve Pollard tights’ most searched for item on my sitemeter…..

I will let you into a few birthday secrets....
(a) my real name isn’t really Rockmother in case you were wondering but I can do a mean impression of Olive from On the Buses with my reading glasses on – when I can find them

(b) this blog is only called a hazy day today because I didn’t know what on earth I was doing when I first set it up and if you can be bothered to trawl through the archives you will note that the very first post was called “A Hazy Day Today”. Yes. Exactly. I wanted it to be called Rockmother in gothic leather effect metallic script and everything but I don’t know what happened to that 4 hours of furrowed brow formatting – lost forever in the blogosphere somewhere hopefully bringing great joy to someone somewhere

(c) since then I have self-taught myself the rudiments of code but not enough to make links within comments like clever people like Slaminsky

(d) I need to add at least another 18 people to my blogroll – you all know who you are - I apologise profusely – I am rather bloglazy but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you

(e) here is one of my favourite songs for each and every one of my readers and lovely friends – I dedicate this to all of you - arse - I can't embed it - you will have to download it HERE

(f) Cake anyone? Profuse licking on this occasion is most definitely allowed.

(g) Oo-er madam!

(h) A kiss for each and every one of you mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah
mwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwahmwah

Is that enough?

Don't forget to blow out the candles when you go to bed.

Innovations Anyone?

2008-05-11T21:31:00.008Z

I have had one of those days surrounded by newspapers and all the extraneous detritus that fall out of them. Firstly, a supplement that towards the back pages was advertising the most revolting cuckoo clock ever to be invented - this:

I would love to know how many they actually sell - I mean - they are hideous. A speedometer-style clock face complete with counter (although I am not sure what it counts) and instead of the humble cuckoo you get a motorcycle that revs out of it's little house on the hour each and every hour. Who invents these things? More importantly - who buys these things? And they are £100 quid! Not cheap but apparently 'collectible'. My attention then turned to easylife catalogue which really is a re-vamped Innovations Catalogue that used to be such a source of inspiration and shame when one's parents actually bought something from it:

"Clever and space-saving concertina shoe-tidy"

"Special-bending ladder for those awkward high jobs"

"Pain-saving Electro-Magnetic Bunion Corrector"

I saw this in it today -

a really horrible piece of furniture that claims to 'save space' but just makes your living room look more cluttered if you ask me by stuffing all your tv guides and Razzles in the side bits. The wide-fitting bunion corrector shoes made me really laugh for some reason. Lift up lid for easy access and roller glide wheels

Ugh! It's horrible. But wait, look, it's Puzzle Kaddy!

Sorry - I would love to come over and stop you from killing yourself but I'm afraid I am half way through my 1000 piece Changing Of the Guard Collectors Edition jigsaw. Well it's taken me ages and I really want to finish it. Actually, hang on - I can use my marvellous Puzzle Kaddy - I'll be there in a jiffy!

You even get a nice blonde lady to carry it for you - attractive, lightweight and fully portable!

I could go on but I won't.

And now for some proper culture - for those who missed The Bard Of Salford on Radio 4 last week - a nice little 30 minute ode to John Cooper Clarke - the man who should be poet laureate - you can listen again here. I can not believe he remains unpublished. Surely someone like Faber or Canongate would be interested in publishing his work? It's a shame the show is presented by Paul Morley as I don't think he comes across that well and a little smug perhaps...? Nevertheless, it is worth a listen if you have the time.

And lastly - what did you dream last night?

For weeks I have been plagued by terrifying and repetitive dreams of big spiders attacking me - real pain - always biting me on my arm and jumping at me. Really awful. Last night I had a welcome break but just as potty - I dreamed I was Tour Manager for The Damned's European Tour. God it was hard work. I kept losing the band and then it was in and out of hotel after hotel and lots of lounging around in bedrooms getting stoned. Captain Sensible kept making me smoke dope and made everyone late all the time. I tried to tell him off - only to be offered another joint. Hilarious.

Finally, I predict this track Harmonia by Shortwave Set off their debut Replica Sun Machine album (out tomorrow) could be a big summer hit:

Nighty night pop pickers.

Catch my Listen With Rockmother podcasts here.

Listen With Rockmother No 17

2008-05-05T23:55:00.004Z

Miss Brahms! I demand you to pay attention. I know it is a shock but you really must download THE ROMO FOR REAL NO 17 NOW.

Now come along - we mustn't keep Captain Peacock waiting.
And remember - play it loud kids.

I'm A Latchkey Kid

2008-05-02T15:46:00.006Z

I am currently on a big Mark E Smith and The Fall tip (exacerbated by working with him this week but that will be on a future post). Imperial Wax Solvent is the only good album to come out this year as far as I am concerned. I listened to bits and bobs of The Fall as a kid mainly through the transistor that was hidden under my pillow tinkling out scratchy John Peel programmes. I managed to tape Industrial Estate onto a cassette and played it one bored teenage weekend to my square best friend who only liked The Beatles and Neil Diamond at the time.

'Isn't it great'? I shouted

'No' she replied wincing....'it's unemployment music'.

That made me like it even more.

Here is a great track from the current album.

The kids of today have a lot to learn - like playing instruments properly for a start! The current Fall line-up is probably one of the best for years. Onto.....

Outrage of the Week:
A Domino's Pizza flyer came through my front door yesterday advertising "Meatball Mayhem" The Official 'Britain's Got Talent' Pizza. Flaming Nora. It looks like a bunch of bollocks on a pizza to me. Evil American-style branding gone mad and encouraging more people to watch crap telly while munching their way through more fat and salt. Hideous.

Prior to that squeezing it's way through my letterbox of discontent - on my way home yesterday I noticed a semi-local pub had stuck a BNP poster to it's sandwich board just outside the front door. I un-pinned it, scrunched it into a ball and posted it through a Royal Mail letterbox. The owner of the pub came out and tried to have a go - plop! too late! I found it so offensive I thought that that was probably the best way of getting rid of it so no one else could read it - or be reminded to vote for them. I then finished the day off nicely by subjecting myself to Celebrity Rehab - brain bleach brain bleach. Nurse! nurse! Prick my boil! Bank Holiday podcast coming your way soon.

Check out my other podcasts here! Don't forget to vote!

Lastly - a ridiculous German in a ridiculous jacket interviews Mark E Smith in 1989.

My Monday Morning Ipod Shuffle

2008-04-21T14:07:00.007Z

Just like a deck of randomly falling cards - the ipod's first three tracks this morning were........

Interzone by Joy Division

You Don't Know What Love Is by Chet Baker

Policecar by Larry Wallis

and then I ended up playing this on heavy rotation very loud....

Flooded by Von Sudenfed

Mark E Smith should be Mayor Of London - that would sort us all right out-ahh!

Iggy and the Stooges to headline

2008-04-15T12:48:00.007Z

Iggy and The Stooges are to headline at this years Get Loaded Festival on Clapham Common Sunday Aug 24 2008.

You can buy tickets from tomorrow at 09:00GMT from here.

Fingers poised for 9am tomorrow - I shall be purchasing a few tickets and practising my topless streak for the inevitable stage invasion. And then he might do this.....maybe...

Eyes down for a full house.

Read my review of Iggy and the Stooges at the Meltdown Festival 2007 here
Play my Listen With Rockmother podcasts here

Enn (then) ui Did This

2008-04-14T18:59:00.003Z

There has been a lot of talk of blogging ennui of late here here and here especially. I found this picture today while actually searching for a person believe it or not. I guess this is what non-bloggers do in their spare time? It is a penny pyramid. A pyramid. Made out of pennies. Pennies painstakingly piled up to form a perfect pyramid. I have to say that would send my ocd tendencies raging. Quite frankly I would rather be blogging about drivel than aligning the 8,500th penny stack while straining my elasticated waistband crimplene trousers. For some reason I assume people who make pyramids out of pennies wear hideous man-made fibre garments. Think of the static with that Axminster. Ouch!

Bored? At a loose end - just go here - drivetime ennui chez Rockmother .

Mix Wit Rockmother

2008-04-10T22:31:00.002Z

Here you go - I'm not one for bandwagons but I am currently experimenting with mixmaxmuxtape thingies - I'm still preferring podcasts my little choux buns! The Romo For Real 17 will be up soon - in the meantime you can always trawl my podcast archive LISTEN WITH ROCKMOTHER .
Recent raver reviews:
Bob Swipe "It's better than horse".....Istvanski "That Rockmother's a slave to the rhythm she really is"....Batbitch "I would slip it in anytime".....Reggie Parsons "Makes me want to crack open a bottle of something special and inhale deeply"......Dick Headley "Yet again no Barry Manilow Special but we live in hope".....

You will have to listen to this for now - or fast forward or click to next blog or something.

Maxtape Mextape Mixtape Moxtape Muxtape

2008-04-08T23:03:00.004Z

I have done a muxtape - you can look at it and choose what you want to listen to here

I thought I would get a nice playlist and a picture of something like this

but no chance - you will just have to press the button instead!

Night night pop-pickers.