Saturday, September 05, 2009

Hi De Hi, Hi De No!

© http://alanandtricia.com/

Awfully sorry for yet another gap but I have a genuine reason other than sheer laziness, twittering and bloggers blogfright this time. I have been camping in Cornwall. I can hear a chorus of 'oh how lovely'. Well quite, in theory but
in practice not quite exactly what I had in mind per se. I went with the 8 year old - voici le Garcon de Ginge:

and my very fine and good friend Reeecolaah (no that's not her real name but in the interest of privacy I have rhymed it with something silly):

there she is stuck in a mound of Dr Who-like heather with Garcon de Ginge.

These were our pristine and weird and INCREDIBLY BORING campsite neighbours:

Yes. If you were wondering they were actually inside the tent all battened in reading mythical fantasy novels on the only sunny day. That was after they had eaten all bran and done the washing for the day. We lasted three days out of the allotted week for the simple reason that my poor friend was almost consumed by a gale bashed tent stuck giant slug style to her face. The first night we heard loud explosive bangs and a siren coming from the sea. My friend remarked wistfully that she could hear fireworks. I corrected that it was a storm warning and actually a succession of distress flares which all made perfect sense at 01:30 when we were running around in pyjamas and wellies trying to secure the tent in a gale force 6. I still have the scars on my palms from the guy ropes lacerating my skin like razorwire. Moral: don't try and lash anything down with your bare wet hands (especially rope or cord) in a force 6 gale!

Fast forward to same night 03:30 battling with boggy ground and pegs that won't stay in as the wind has pulled them out so many times there is now no longer any purchase.

Fast forward same night 04:30 both of us soaked through staring at each other saying: I hate this. Well actually I think we said: this is SHIT!

Fast forward to same night/morning 06:00 - I wake up to panicked shouts of 'Rockmother! Get up now - the tent is on my face!' I leapt up and then immediately lost balance on deflating airbed then headbutted the flysheet. Oh comedy camping capers. We finally both staggered outside to see the tent sagging badly on her side which again had lost purchase in the ground that had had a years worth of rain in 2 hours.



Next door had the same problem - we saw a lot of pyjama welly and wet hair action going on throughout the night. Basically no one slept a wink - one family abandoned their tent completely - just took the contents and left. Good move. Later that morning a few obviously seasoned campers came over to say hello and have an irritatingly jolly chat. What the bloody hell did they have to be so jolly about? They all seemed to think it was hilarious and fun that we had all camped out in the eye of a terrible storm.

This lasted for two more days at which point we:

(a) became very miserable and ratty
(b) had to gather around a coolbox with junior monopoly balanced precariously on top lit only by a tiny torch to have mammoth raucous games which garcon de ginge loved as we..
(c) drank copious amounts of wine to obliterate the ability of getting up any more at night to rectify the tent

(d) decided that people who like camping in extremis are mad and obviously like being inconvenienced and cooped up in flappy nylon for fun

(e) thought about torching the tent but himwhosnoreslikeabison would probably not be that happy so we didn't.

That's garcon de ginge Martin PArr-style getting back to nature with a seal.

But really, camping is no fun if all you can do is stagger around with hot weatherbeaten faces in damp clothes smelling of dog and have to run the risk of permanent tinnitus due to incredibly loud nylon flapping noise from wind and rain beating down like a ton of marbles onto the roof for 48hrs solid. So we moved. Sheer luck and god knows how we found a 2 bedroom pre-fab holiday home type thing in beautiful grounds including a heated swimming pool half a mile down the road. It had a hand-painted kaola bear plate on the wall in the kitchen.


It was bliss. So it was quite an adventure and despite the harrowing start we still had a great time which involved laughing quite a lot because if we hadn't we may have cried. Check out the unconscious 'art therapy' we did on the beach as part of our recovery....

Ta ta for now.

All photos © Rockmother except top photo © alanandtricia.com (yes - they are for real!!)

Should you find yourself at a loose end or bored of the radio click here for Listen With Rockmother podcasts - you love it!

Labels:

13 Comments:

Blogger Geoff said...

Camping reminds me of the horrible Scouts. As do big burly psychopathic men.

6:38 pm  
Blogger Momentary Madness said...

Ha, Rock mother you’re the funniest person - and most adorable person - alive.
You’ve got Too “used to that clean white linen, and that fancy French cologne, Mama get out your cane, and I’ll put on some silver (gold is too gauche) O, you‘re a mean old Mama, but I like you.”
The 4th. Beach photo is---- blew me away, brilliant!

6:41 pm  
Blogger savannah said...

hells bells, sugar! glad y'all made it thru the night! xoxoxo

1:49 am  
Blogger rockmother said...

Geoffster - oh dear - sounds traumatic.

Momodarling - Ha! I can assure you I am so not - I was quite possibly the most ugliest and bedraggled that week though ;-) Never wear gold - only silver for me. Thanks re: beach photo.

Savmarshmamama - hells bells indeed - but like Gloria Gaynor - we survived!x

9:58 am  
Blogger Mondo said...

I went camping in Cornwall (Tintagel) and it was properly miserable...

I woke up with the tent blown so far against my face it was like a bank robber with a stocking mask..

Holland's good for camping so's Dorset - can recommend Durdle Door near Lulworth campsite, or Pencelli in the Brecon Beacons

5:28 pm  
Blogger Billy said...

Gah, I remember a similar thing happening to me. I could have stabbed those smug annoying seasoned campers in the eye.

7:12 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Mr Mondo Bongo - cool - thanks for tips although I fear unless I am on the continent or somewhere amazing like Sweden or Norway which I hear is fab for camping then it will be self-catering within 4 walls for me. Been there done that for years - have spent too many a wet'n'windy night in a tent. Oo-er madam - didn't really mean for it to come out like that but you know what I mean.

Billy - yes - they are all weirdo's with socks and sandals and buck teeth and boring cars and lives. Ha!

12:41 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Are you trying to tell us that you went camping in a state of sobriety with no festival included?!?
Go seek professional help right now.

7:52 pm  
Blogger dh said...

Those neighbours look like just the kind of campers we need. Neat, environmentally friendly and probably nocturnal.

8:49 pm  
Blogger ninest123 said...

ninest123 16.02
oakley sunglasses, ralph lauren polo, louis vuitton outlet, nike outlet, louis vuitton outlet online, uggs on sale, louis vuitton, burberry factory outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, prada outlet, louboutin shoes, uggs outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet online, longchamp outlet, longchamp outlet, gucci handbags, louis vuitton handbags, louboutin uk, michael kors handbags, christian louboutin, michael kors outlet online, replica watches, uggs outlet, ray ban sunglasses, cheap jordans, michael kors, nike free, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, replica watches, uggs on sale, uggs on sale, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp bags, christian louboutin, tiffany jewelry, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, ralph lauren outlet, michael kors outlet, nike air max

12:31 am  
Blogger ninest123 said...

nike air force, michael kors, lunette oakley pas cher, mulberry uk, nike air max uk, polo lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, abercrombie and fitch UK, vans pas cher, replica handbags, nike free, converse, nike roshe run pas cher, vanessa bruno pas cher, louboutin pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, michael kors uk, sac guess pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, timberland pas cher, nike roshe uk, burberry pas cher, nike tn pas cher, true religion outlet, new balance, nike air max pas cher, coach outlet, north face pas cher, nike free pas cher, lunette ray ban pas cher, ray ban uk, michael kors, coach purses, true religion outlet, lululemon outlet, longchamp soldes, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, true religion outlet, hermes pas cher, hogan sito ufficiale, hollister uk, michael kors outlet online, longchamp pas cher, coach outlet store online, jordan pas cher, polo ralph lauren uk, north face uk, nike air max uk

12:33 am  
Blogger ninest123 said...

bottega veneta, abercrombie, north face outlet, instyler ionic styler, timberland boots, chi flat iron, p90x workout, iphone 6s cases, jimmy choo outlet, hollister, giuseppe zanotti, softball bats, nike roshe run, wedding dresses, beats by dre, north face outlet, louboutin, polo ralph lauren, soccer jerseys, valentino shoes, hollister clothing, iphone 6s plus cases, herve leger, soccer shoes, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, insanity workout, iphone 6 plus cases, lululemon outlet, converse, vans scarpe, nfl jerseys, iphone 5s cases, babyliss pro, mont blanc, hermes handbags, mcm handbags, celine handbags, abercrombie and fitch, longchamp uk, ghd hair, mac cosmetics, new balance shoes, s6 cases, iphone cases, vans outlet, ipad cases, reebok outlet, nike air max, salvatore ferragamo, oakley, asics running shoes

12:36 am  
Blogger ninest123 said...

links of london uk, canada goose outlet, juicy couture outlet, moncler, coach outlet, moncler, toms shoes, lancel, canada goose outlet, wedding dresses uk, moncler outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, sac louis vuitton, ray ban, sac louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, moncler, ugg pas cher, canada goose jackets, replica watches, converse shoes outlet, pandora jewelry, canada goose, pandora charms, moncler jackets, canada goose uk, moncler uk, thomas sabo uk, ugg uk, karen millen uk, pandora uk, barbour jackets uk, swarovski jewelry, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, supra shoes, louis vuitton, barbour, canada goose pas cher, bottes ugg pas cher, hollister, montre pas cher, gucci, moncler pas cher, moncler, louis vuitton, louis vuitton uk, marc jacobs, canada goose jackets, swarovski uk
ninest123 16.02

12:38 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker Who links to me?
Web Counter