Friday, July 09, 2010

The Complaints Dept Is Open

Goodness - it has been a long time. Seems that I have had a bit of a blogblock but am slowly overcoming it. Below is a bloody brilliant bit of complaining that my Dad has submitted to Jacky at the rather Kafa-esquely named Olympic Delivery Authority - Planning Decisions Team (what?):

In our time we have seen some vacuous bombast from Mr. Kapoor but this is literally astonishing in it's incoherence. The metallic surface/colour is that seen on pound shop flasks. It displays an utter lack of any indication of form/function/dynamic [see adjacent stadium & Thames basin light] and 'connecting' with the senses. The 'movement' of the whole - it's energy, is that of a coat-whirling lout drunk on cider at an Iron Maiden gig - circa 1980., or a Hammer Throw gone very, very, wrong.

Within the context of the site it looks as if a rogue scrap merchant has dumped this overnight, to despoil a site as would the worst of graffiti on a clean building. What is required is a clean simplicity that does reach for the stars - as does the 'Shard' . The very sight of the 'orbit' brings a shudder engendered by the worst of totalitarian monsters, the ethos of threat, oppression and thuggish dogma. Even the base entrance/platform is a dull hostile box - think 1950's army barracks. An accident that looks as if has already happened, or is delayed in time. It is vulgar to the point of insult.

It has no remarkable post-Olympic function such as a concert arena in the sky. Even though sheathed in it's lurid metallic lustre, being steel it will eat up maintainence funds when the east winds prevail October through April. I'm sorry, but we object and in the strongest terms possible. Thank you - JE.

Oooh Papa! Nay, nay and thrice nay!



Blogger Tim Footman said...

I suppose he’s the Grandpa of Rock.

12:51 pm  
Blogger GreatSheElephant said...

the whole aesthetic is very 1950s Soviet bloc.

Could he now complain about the Olympics as a whole please - surely canning that's one spending cut no-one could really complain about.

2:01 pm  
Blogger Scarlett the Heavenly Healer said...

How funny! I actually really like Anish Kapoor's work, but your dad has such a great turn of phrase and I love his letter!
I'm with GreatSheElephant - I still can't forgive the loss of Manor Garden Allotments to build a path for the Olympic Games. Shameful.

9:03 pm  
Blogger savannah said...

that has to be one of the best have you lost your fucking mind? notes i've read in ages, sugar! xoxoxox

11:58 pm  
Blogger Momentary Madness said...

Blow it up.

5:55 am  
Anonymous Dick Van Hertz Hire said...

Gnarly rollercoaster, dude.

3:59 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Mr Footman - he sort of invented it ;-)

Great She - Oh don't worry - I believe he has!

Scarlett - yes - I love the Iron Maiden fan comment - hilarious. The loss of the Manor Gardens allottments was a travesty. I cried when it happened.

Mama - I love my Dad too - he is so funny and clever. His writing is very stream of consciousness/visual - he can not think or write in any other way. I like his view of the world.

Momodarling - well yes - would save on the firework display...

Dick Van Whatsit - well gnarly!

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