Sunday, April 29, 2007

Je Suis Un Metal Detector Man

So while the rest of The Rolling Stones are literally rolling in it from constant sell-out tours around the globe twice over, Bill Wyman has launched his very own signature metal detector. See here. The site really made me laugh - it's even got one of those special offers style stickers on it saying 'as seen on Richard & Judy!'. I guess if Richard and Judy endorse your product then you know you're laughing?

At or with? And whilst we are on the subject of laughing - what is it about people with metal detectors that look so funny? And why would you really want one that costs twice as much as all the others just because it's got Bill Wyman's signature in embossed white plastic on it?

Surely it should have some other unique features such as search-mode should have a repeat of Keith's opening melody from Gimme Shelter trickling away instead of the usual beepy electronic drone? Or when you've actually found a penny or a discarded bicycle nut it could screech 'Gimme gimme gimme your honky tonk blues!'. Yes, that would be more like it. Bill's written a book too because as well as funding restaurants that give you sticky fingers he is also quite good at archaeology hence the need for a metal detector. To be fair - his is a special lightweight version of the usual lump that people lumber around ancient fort sites with their long-suffering children or annoy beach-goers on holiday with. Perhaps Bill will bring out a further signature range of special metal detector clothing - socks, sandals, signed Reactolite Rapides - that sort of thing...

Photo's © Bill Wyman Metal Detector and main pic © The Rockmother in Aus 2003



Blogger violetforthemoment said...

Oh, bless him.

11:59 am  
Blogger Betty said...

From being responsible for the bassline on Have You Seen Your Mother Baby, Standing In The Shadow? to getting all excited about finding old bits of crockery and pre decimal coins on the beach. Perhaps he would've been better off if he'd snorted his dad's ashes.

1:45 pm  
Blogger Billy said...

Wasn't there a Rolling Stones song featuring Bill on lead vocals?

Can't remember the title, but it was pretty rubbish; although not as bad as She's A Rainbow the worst rolling stones song ever.

4:14 pm  
Blogger Howesy said...

I'm hanging on for the David St Hubbins model. A metal detector marketing war is predicted between Bill Wyman and St Hubbins . According to the man named after the patron saint of quality footwear, "there's nothing as important as metal, so any help detecting it should be encouraged. But mine's black and the buttons go up to 12."

9:31 am  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Bill Wyman is also releasing his own signature shovel - not to accompany his own metal detector set, but to make it easier for people to bury his crap solo records.

3:00 pm  
Blogger First Nations said...

...making Wyman the only Stone deserving of anything like respect. at least one of them knows when it's time to put on his hat and go home.

9:35 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

I heard Mandy Smith used to prefer an old rocker to a comfy sofa.

10:02 pm  
Anonymous Istvanski's Guilty Conscience said...

Copyright - Dennis Pennis.

10:06 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Violet - you're so nice! x

Betty - I know what you mean - he looks a bit cronky doesn't he?

Billy - the World of Twist version of She's A Rainbow was good - perhaps I'll put it on next podcast

Howeser Trouser - ha ha - very good

Her Firstness - yes - do you think he 'got his anorak? - I mean coat' x

Ister - that's very funny - I miss and love Dennis Pennis - he was hilarious

10:53 am  
Blogger Arabella said...

What I don't understand is, what happens when detector man actually detects something? He's not wearing a shovel. Does he plant a flag and come back later?

4:06 pm  
Blogger llewtrah said...

He needs the metal detector so he can find his glasses, hearing aid and gold-capped false teeth.

6:22 pm  
Blogger Simon Hilton said...

Can we get a Heavy Metal detector for the office to help find some Motorhead to put on the stereo for when i get back please?
lots of love & see you soon

9:41 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Looks like you'll have to buy the David St Hubbins model for Simon.

2:17 am  
Blogger Howesy said...

It's also available in black...

12:16 pm  
Anonymous useful comedy sidekick said...

How much more black?

12:17 pm  
Blogger Howesy said...


12:17 pm  
Blogger Pod said...

like your new glasses love

12:23 pm  
Anonymous rivergirlie said...

can you set it to find heavy metal?

2:40 pm  
Anonymous rivergirlie said...

bum! just noticed how unoriginal i am. my daughter, however, asked me if mick jagger's girlfriend is an archaeologist - cos she must enjoy dating old stones. baddum cha!

9:24 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Arabella - I think he's got a scoppy thing in his other hand..I took the photo originally because I was taken aback by his sockage

Llewtrah - and his marbles no doubt!

Hilton International - yes all sorted - it's called The Bomber!

Ister - see above - it's the way I tell'em (to be read in a Frank Carson accent)

Howesey - black - yes.

Pod - oh ta love!

Rivergirlie - daughter of rivergirlie is clearly a genius!

12:31 am  

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