S.P.A.M. (strange people at mail)
Spam in my mailbox this morning:
Hi there my friend. I am desperate. First I'm going to kill myself then I'm going to eat my dog unless I get some meds.
Perhaps they would feel better if they tucked into a Spam Giftset as above? Who generates spam? How does it work? Why does spam sometimes say really disturbing things like: special offer for you ormulu veneer?
Just wondering.
posted by rockmother at 7:37 am
15 Comments:
Perhaps the e-mail was from Bob Swipe who has run out of painkillers for his bad back!
Spam seems to be generated by the words used in other addresses and e-mails. It's a bit disturbing to find loads of mails with my full name assuring me that I can make myself more virile than other men.
Don't blame us Missus!
Luckily I don't get any spam, though I used to love spam fritters as a kid.
Maybe that's what the olive oil in the gift pack is for - to healthily fry spam fritters.
Yummers!
Now I don't want to seem a pedant, but surely killing oneself before eating the dog is a tad silly. Unless you're the dog of course when I'm sure that killing first would be the option he'd recommend.
If he could talk of course.
It would just be a bit of a growl to a spammer in need of meds.
I've just lately begun to receive hundreds of spams a day, as opposed to about 20. I never knew I could be so popular with those little blue pill people. They must be hard up for customers...
I live in a town that has an annual Spam Festival - la Spamarama. Very pink and piggy.
there's some little machine somewhere gaining artificial intelligence and then...one day POOF..it's bladerunner..and the androids will be coming after us for not answering the spam...i swear, sugar..we are in deep shit now!
Betty - yes I've had a few with my name in too - it's a bit disconcerting to be sure
Knights - ni!
Geoff - you are so lucky not to get spam. My brother used to love spam fritters too and came home early from school once writhing in agony with stomachache as he had gone up for fifths of spam fritters at lunch. Oh how I laughed in that really mean big sister way.
Howesey - yes - wouldn't you eat the dog and then kill yourself? Yes I'm getting a spamheavy these days - I keep getting ones about erectile dysfunction and adobe software..
Arabella - oh no - is that true? I want pictures!
Savannahmama - yes - like in a Tim Burton film - spam aliens - heeelp.
Spontaneous Puke And Miasma = SPAM....Miasma...what a brilliant word that is.
Frank Zappa once offered an audience he was performing for to submit their underwear to him live on stage. He said that he knew a woman who was prepared to make a quilt from the submitted underwear, and the fact that the underwear would NOT be washed before the manufacture of the said quilt would enhance the local MIASMA of the finished piece.....not a lot of people know that.
OH....just thought I'd let you know
Go on then.....get ya dictionaries out!!!
Jif - that's absolutely damn miasmatic - thank you for that enlightening information. Brilliant.
So they're coming back as a flesh-eating zombie? Or vampire or something.
Religious symbols - check, most religions catered for. What if the undead is an atheist?
Stake - check
Steak - also check (for dyslexic vampire)
Garlic - check
Silver bullets - is there any silver in a sharpened 5p piece these days?
That should keep the dog-eating undeads away.
you're being a bit harsh, romo. ok, so all that viagra stuff is annoying but i've had a wonderful job offer - in iceland. plus some excellent stock tips that i'm sure will make me rich, and i've made some lovely new friends in nigeria - and not just anyone ... most of them seem to be related to wealthy businessmen and tribal chiefs.
i seem to keep winning lotteries in the UK. now, as i live one entire ocean and one entire continent away from the uk, how did i buy those tickets, you ask? that, my friends, is competition level sleepwalking.
Llewtrah - yes - a viagra munching dog wrangler probably ;-)
Rivergirlie - oh yes - I've been asked to send money to fund a big railway in Africa and when it's up and running I'll get a million back - they just need my sort code and account no.
Firstness - yes - I've won a Spanish lottery before muchos euros big pain in assos
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