Sunday, July 16, 2006

Toilet Talk

Hi, alright? He got off with a suspended sentence. (Louder) I said he got off with a suspended sentence. Yeah. I know. What? No. I'm on the toilet (cackles). I better go. Oh fuckinell, I forgot. How long've they all been down there then? Well, we'll just give them chips then is it? Alright. Ok. Oh god. Ok. Bye then. Bye.

Overhead in the nextdoor cubicle of a ladies loo on Level Four of an NCP car park in Kingston last Thursday.


Blogger Robert A. Swipe said...


I'm getting seriously worried about you and this obsession with NCP car parks. It's the dogging, isn't it? You've been bitten by the bug and can't sit still for five minutes without the thought that somewhere in West London there might be a couple uncomfortably contorted around the baby seat and Ocado boxes, rutting vigorously in the back of a Nissan Figaro.

The least you could do is give me a call when you get the nod. We could take sandwiches....

Love the 'new look',


8:33 am  
Blogger rockmother said...

Oh no - I'm not a dogger stalker I promise. I thought that when I put the post up - cue Istvanski at some point later today!

But honest guv, I was just having lunch in Kingston and parked there. I needed a wee before we went home and actually thought the person on the phone was talking to me at first - I nearly said hello back when I realised she was talking on the phone on the bog as it were.

Anyway, will be in NCP Richmond Station at c. 14:00 if anyone's interested - bring sandwiches and binoculars. NO - not really!

9:22 am  
Blogger Billy said...

As I don't have a car I don't get to overhear such things. I imagine Richmond to have a much classier disturbing conversation to overhear than Kingston.

10:43 am  
Blogger rockmother said...

Hello Billy and thank you for dropping by. Well, Richmond NCP has proper doggers! See my earlier post Dogtastic here:

I've seen and heard it all now.

10:10 pm  
Anonymous ivan said...

I'm just staggered that you NCP has toilets - and they are usable. Toilets. In a car park. Not round here, matey.

12:29 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

"...cue Istvanski at some point later today!"

What makes you think I'm here to comment on such scandalous incidents that occur in NCP car parks?

However, I notice that you are starting to travel further afield from home in your quest for titilation.

One day, you'll end up in Brighton's NCP.

I shudder to think what you may experience there...

2:10 pm  
Blogger First Nations said...

1. the intermittent 'plop, splash' would greatly add to the ambience of a phone conversation, i think. add to that the acoustics produced by a public toilet and you have stravinsky. pure stravinsky.
2. ever see the movie 'Crash'? yeah.
i've only tried it in a parked car once and honked the horn with my ass at an inopportune moment. ahem. in a graveyard, no less.
this week it's back to the kitchen counter for me.

3:38 pm  
Blogger Arabella said...

I need to find more interesting toilets. No, I remember why this doesn't happen to me: all public toilets in America were abducted by aliens in the Great Alien Abduction Awakening of 1987. In Kansas.
I notice there wasn't any loo roll, but you did have a traditional seat. Here, seats tend to have a section at the front cut out. This leaves a nice view of that pubic hair glued to the porcelain rim by a smudge of dried urine.

3:42 pm  
Anonymous Wavy Gravy said...

Thank you Arabella, nice image imprinted on my brain for the rest of the day!!!

7:00 pm  
Blogger Billy said...

RM, I've read the dogging post and I'm scared. Things like that never happen to me.

Public toilet on the continent are scary. All the graffiti is in centimetres. Makes you feel very small - until you remember.

7:44 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Ivan - I know I was rather surprised too and a bit cautious - they were fantastically clean despite the woman in the next door cubicle who I originally thought was talking to me.

Istvanski - now now!

FN - thankfully we were both doing wee's at the time. Yes - I love Crash. Re: your horn in graveyard moment - I'm sure they were all turning in their graves!

Arabella - good observation - you get that on aeroplane loo's too - rerally annoys me - why can't people clean up after themselves?

Wavy - I know - it sort of stays with you doesn't it?

Billy - Nothing usually happens ot me like that either but has all in the last month. I blame it on the hot weather - it brings them all out you know!

8:55 am  

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