Saturday, March 08, 2008

Ugly DJ Syndrome

Now and again I listen to my local radio station - Radio Jackie FM - especially in the car for some reason. There is something really comforting and normal about local radio wherever you are. Radio Jackie's main claim is that they go out 'Live! From Tolworth Tower!' I don't even know where Tolworth is. I used to catch the 72 bus from Hammersmith to Barnes after school - the 72 went to Tolworth Broadway - that is all I know about Tolworth. Actually the real reason why I like Radio Jackie is because they play a lot of 70's and 80's music which always sends me into a reminiscent reverie of too much eyeliner, remembering boys I used to fancy and feeling ashamed at knowing all the words to songs from bands I purported to hate at the time (mainly Duran Duran). The other thing I like about Radio Jackie are the local advertisements - "Get on down to Ashford Aquatics! Just past the Middlesex Crematorium on the A326. Ashford Aquatics - come on dooooown!"

Radio Jackie FM claims to be SW London and North Surrey's best radio station - actually I think it is the only radio station that covers that area. On looking at their website it reminded me how weird DJ's look in real life. You can build up a great persona with your radio voice can't you but in the flesh you might often look a bit of a shock. Why is that? Why are most DJ's so odd looking? Jimmy Saville being the most extreme example.....

Bruno Brookes with his massive bulbous forehead, Noel Edmonds with his tidy beard and Janice Long with her utter fright of a hairdo. Did they all get dressed in the dark I wonder?

I nominate my Radio Jackie DJ Hairstyle Horror of the Week to be Mike 'Mullet' Hayes! Take it away Mike!

Mike's on at 16:00GMT today if any of you are interested...

Who is your favourite DJ and why?

My only favourite DJ ever was John Peel.
And Alan 'Fluff' Freeman



Blogger Geoff said...

We used to play Tolworth at Ten Pin Bowling. Never went there though.

I haven't really got a favourite DJ - they all talk too much. I used to listen to Little Nicky Horne religiously in the 70s along with David Rodigan and the very handsome Charlie Gillett. That was a golden era. Could never sit through a John Peel show as he played so much that was crap which I suppose was part of his appeal. Fluff had the best radio voice and Westwood is the funniest DJ of all time.

Simon Bates is the most hateful DJ, just about pipping it from Mike Read.

2:46 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

4:20 pm  
Blogger reckless said...

I doubt if you would know my favourite DJ's however, Dave Fanning would be number one.
I would not put him before John Peel.... John (thought I hardly listened to him, I know) was God- his love, and knowledge, plus anyone who would have lyrics on his tombstone is the three divine persons all in one.
Ther is one other guy slightly out of the equasion, but I thought he was a brilliant presenter Bob Harris- cool man.

4:33 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Ha! That picture of Jimminy Saville doing the healthy keep fit thing on an exercise bike whilst puffing on a huge cancer stick. I've yet to see a more effective publicity shot (although that one of Mick Hucknall with the end of a gun in his gob was good - pity the tosser never pulled the trigger, eh?).

I've become accustomed to listening to BBC London in the car for: 1. sport 2. music 3. current affairs debating 4. humour and 5. education.

Sport - DJ Steve Bunce seems to be a pretty lively sort of chap (which seems to be essential in sport related presentation) and this week he interviewed ex-boxing champ Evander Holyfield.

BUNCE: "You must get asked a lot about the time when Iron Mike Tyson tucked into one of your ears. What's your responce to that?"

HOLYFIELD: " I see it is it's like this; three rounds, nine minutes and I made 35 million dollars. Trouble was, I got bit on da ear..."
Broadcasting golden nugget on how to get rich quick.

Music - Not that great on BBC London, but occasionally they have a dedicated feature on a certain band which they call "What's all the fuss about [insert name of band here]" with Sean Rowley, who is a capable DJ presenter, although his voice can sound irritatingly urgent at times for no apparent reason. Tony Blackburn hosts his show on a Saturday afternoon and he's...well, he's Tony Blackburn, isn't he? His attempt at "sexy dancing" at a club at one of his soul revue nights that he used to do was shown on the telly once. He wore a white spandex suit and I still cringe at the memory.

Current affairs debates / phone-ins - The best DJ on this station is Big George who does the graveyard shift and on occasions he's quite a sharp thinker who can't resist playing the devil's advocate just to fuel the debate. He hasn't got the smoothest style of presenting, but maybe that's part of the appeal. Eddie Nestor on drivetime isn't too bad.

Humour - Believe it or not, Danny Baker's weekday afternoon show can be a chuckle. Sometimes.

Education - Surprisingly, this goes to Robert Elms. I actually hate his smug sounding voice and he laughs at his own jokes, in other words he's not someone to be trusted. I think he exagerates his working class London accent on his show as I've seen him in certain telly programmes where his voice sounds a bit posh depending on the topic he's presenting. But I do like certain aspects of his show which discusses various historical events and places to do with London. I was surprised at how interesting I found it.

Favourite over-all DJ / presenter out of the ones I've mentioned? Big George, big hippy-looking George.
So there you have it, complete with links to their mugshots.
I won't include Fluuf and Peel as they were universally loved.

Tolworth is here.

Christ, this comment was more like a blog post...I'll shut up now.

4:36 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Who the fook is "Fluuf"?

4:37 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Norwegian death metal DJ.

4:44 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Geoff - Tim Westwood shouldn't be allowed to speak - ever - unless he can talk properly like he probably does at home. My friend who is very strait-laced used to say that John Peel only played 'unemployment music'. I find that very funny. Radio Caroline was good and I used to love Graham Dean on Capital in 1926!

Seanster - oh I love Bob Harris - he is one of the best.

Ister - only Jimmy Saville could get away with that - what a freakoid he is. Yes I forgot about Danny Baker - he is excellent - I'm a big fan. Don't be fooled by smarmy Robert Elms - he just has a very good researcher that's all. I would rather be deaf than have to listen to him although I do know what you mean about his show.

Oooooh - that's where Tolworth is - that big interchange on the A3!

F U N E Fluuf? ;-)

6:31 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I learned everything I know about the history of popular music from listening to Jimmy Savile's Double Top Ten Show of charts from the '50's onwards when I was young, which is terribly sad to admit, but there you go. I once heard a Radio One documentary about him which was one of the most bizarre, disturbing things ever.

Used to listen to Radio Luxembourg as well, with the signal fading out every five minutes and all those DJ's with Mid Atlantic accents: Tony Prince's voice was a weird Lancastrian/New York hybrid!

I suppose credit has to go to Peel, even though there was usually a "one good song every twenty minutes" ratio and I used to wake up tired every day before going to school because of listening to him. He had a major influence on the music I listened to at the time.

Most hated DJ? A tie between DLT (he refused to play PIL on the breakfast show chart rundown! Boo! Hiss!), Slimey Bates and Mike "Good Mates With Cliff And Shakey" Read.

Only listen to odd bits of radio these days - Gaydar because it place the kind of mindless dance music I love, Radio One occasionally in the car (Annie Mac is the least annoying of the presenters). You have to pick and choose with Radio Two, which can be a bit bland, smug, or both. Oh, should mention Desmond Carrington on Radio Two. The man is a god!

Haven't heard much local radio but the highlight of stations in The Midlands was the adverts for car repair shops, furniture stores and so on. The best was one for a windows/conservatories company which used the tune of Oliver's Army: "Oliver's windows are on their way! Oliver's windows are here to stay!" Pathetic.

Has this equalled the word count for Istvanski's comment yet?

7:25 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:26 pm  
Blogger SEAN RECKLESS said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:08 pm  
Blogger tony said...

My All-Time FAV DJ is (was?) TONY PRINCE.He was on Caroline then moved to Luxembourg.
The reason?
Oh, just cos he read out a letter of mine once.I was 15 & going away on my first holiday with a few mates to a caravan in Great Yarmouth.I asked him to tell the World my address + say we wanted to meet up with some 15-16 year old Chicks while on holiday!
We got tons of replies! (Thank You Sweet Prince!)
Come to think of it........Today it would never happen? Internet Grooming before the Internet!!!!!!

8:15 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

Listening to Alan Freeman on a Saturday afternoon, hiding from the prefects who wanted us to go out on cross-country runs- the true 70s public school experience.

Robert Elms always was a phoney and I suspect still is.

8:28 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Bettster - Oh I forgot all about Radio Luxembourg - I was brought up on Radio Luxembourg and Caroline. It was pot-luck whether when you tuned in to Luxembourg especially whether you were going to get it or not. As for John Peel - I thank my favourite granny Elsie for buying me a transistor radio for my 11th birthday. I used to put it under my pillow and listen to John Peel secretly as I was not allowed to tune in normally. Ugh - Mike Read. I went through a phase at the end of the 80's thinking Simon Bate's afternoon show with Mr Spoons et al was really funny. And I have to say I used to love Our Tune - they were the radio equivalent of the problem pages in Jackie magazine.

I love crap radio ads - Olivers Windows sounds inspired. I like the punjabi stations coming down the M1 from ooop North.

Tony - that's so funny - you were way ahead of your time - a sort of precursor to the bebo/myspace parent's homewrecker parties of nowadays - see here:

Malc the Pigman - thanks for dropping by again Malc - yes - the countdown from 40 to 1 - it was so exciting. Poor Fluff - he was a very nice man apparently and a good friend of John Peel.

In a twisted way - I quite liked Paul Gambaccini's broadcasts too at various points in my life and I laughed out loud at something Terry Wogan said on Radio 2 the other morning - he was slagging Joni Mitchell - it was genuinely funny.

9:03 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Oops - I meant to write slagging OFF Joni Mitchell. Jesus - might as well have written shagging.

9:05 pm  
Blogger Billy said...

I've actually been to Tolworth. It isn't very exciting.

10:09 pm  
Blogger Annie said...

I used to really love Mark Radcliffe and Lard. They were genuinely funny (unlike most of them, who just think they're funny and are really just loud and irritating) and they had a really great relationship with people who'd call in, not patronising but on an equal level. Plus they played good music. I don't know why they got taken off, they were fantastic. And yet, Chris Moyles prospered... I don't understand the radio bosses. Or the public.

4:12 pm  
Blogger dh said...

I liked Jack Jackson....anyone remember him? 'Fluff' Freeman got his name so legend has it because he always had fluff on his jumper. Fountain of knowledge that's me.

3:56 am  
Blogger Planet Mondo said...

I don't know about favourite - but my least fave Steve Wright, Simon Bates (uuggh - just so smug) and Adrian Juste

Certainly Bates, Andy Peebles, weren't the best looking boys in the bunch on my Radio 1 calendar and Jonathan King, and Paul Gambaccini look like sock puppets

12:50 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my theory is that they're dj's precidely because they're funny looking. i've always thought i have a good face for radio. any pretty ones segue into telly, like richard hammond.

9:49 pm  
Blogger Axe Victim said...

I love radio Jackie. They always seem to turn up at local events too, and are really crap at it, but that's all part of the charm. A friend of Mrs. Axe used to work at Star FM run out of Slough. That was the best/worst station I ever heard. As is Capital. I like BBC London, but it's still GLR to me. I like Tony Blackburn too, although I was shocked to hear him play Billy Idol's White Wedding on the weekend show. Looks like old Tone is just in it for the money but who cares? It's only the wireless. But for me it was the young Johnny 'tootin' Walker that floated my boat musically speaking. He was a tad so cal but so was I when I was a lad.

11:21 pm  
Anonymous Haven't said hi for a while said...

How come nobody has mentioned Kenny Everett?

And for all you old people out there, what about Radio 390? Circa 1965 or '66? No, oh well, it must be just me then.

2:17 pm  
Blogger Batbitch said...

I agree with rivergirlie, they're in radio because they're too funny looking for TV.

My personal fav. though not a real DJ, was Dr. Johnny Fever, from WKRP.

(As for real ones? We've had some fairly embarrassing ones here in the Cleveland area.)

2:40 pm  
Blogger FirstNations said...

body I cite is going to mean a thing to y'all, but know that you have all made me insanely jealous!
youthful fave: Uncle Don Wright of KGON...fighting censorship of the airwaves fearlessly one double entendre at a time

once i knew better fave: Ludeman on the 10 to 2am shift at KINK. warped, informative, prone to tangents...FCC? what FCC? never heard of it. offered drug 'how to' tutorials to the neophyte onair. god i miss him.

4:44 pm  
Blogger JDA said...

Tolworth? that'a a stones throw from me, if it's the same Tolworth that is?

5:35 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Billy - how exciting! Was it good?

Annie - Chris Moyles should be harpooned for his own safety

Dickley - you are the all-seeing oracle

Planet Mondo - hello - sock puppets - I am still laughing about that. Jonathan King looked like he had actually swallowed a sock puppet - or a small boys sock perhaps? Oooh did I say that? Yes I did!

Rivergirlie - uugh! Richard Hammond isn't pretty. Please tell me that you are back to your normal witty self and that is one of your brilliant jokes? Oh god - you are not his wife are you? I didn't mean it. He's lovely (it's jsut that he looks like a dwarf-hamster with highlights and bug-eyes). x

Axe Minster Victim - god I had forgotten about StarFm - as Anre Previn would have said - "quite possibly the worst radio station of all time". Yes - Johhnie Walker was rather superb - I forgot to mention him.

Dave We Know It's You Are You Back From Hong Kong Yet - well I didn't mention Kenny as I knew you would! He was the best - actually a good example of someone who crossed over from radio to telly rather damn bloody well xxx

Batgirl - ooh - I bet you have - have you called in to any of them with lewd suggestions?

HRH Firstness - Uncle Don Wright sounds the don if you ask me - I may have to conduct some side research xxx

Jifdumpster - bloody hell - or should I say smegging hell where've you blinking well been? I think it may possibly eb the same Tolworth. I fear there maybe only one Radio Jackie going out live form the Tolworth Tower!

9:04 pm  
Blogger Bock the Robber said...

What about David Jensen? We listened to him with a crackly earpiece under the covers when we were supposed to be asleep and he turned us on to stuff that wasn't just the usual homogenised pap.

Kid Jensen: Pop music hero!

10:14 pm  
Anonymous wyndham said...

Most DJs/presenters are certifiable maniacs, and god knows I've met enough of them. Fluff was lovely though.

The rest: deranged.

10:32 pm  
Blogger rockmother said...

Bockster - Kid Jensen? What David 'Kid' Jensen? Oh that one. Erm - I used to listen to him and you are right he played half decent sounds but by god he wsa ugly on Top of the Pops and wore fawn nylon jackets I seem to recall.

Wyndham - welcome oh great one. Yes - you are spot on there - look at Andy 'deranged' Kershaw - he has had to go home to mother to get leave of his senses. Tragic.

1:02 am  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Leave Jensen alone, please. I simply won't tolerate any negative vibes flowing in his direction. He got on my train once and he supports Palace.
'Nuff said.

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