Where the hell is Bethleham?

Does anyone know where Bethleham is? My son is an angel in the nursery nativity play next week and has been given the following lines to say:

Follow the star to Bethleham. It will take you to baby Jesus.

Is that like Birmingham? They have also got to sing and I quote: "Twinkel twinkel little star". Christ! What's going on? Thank goodness (not God) he can't read yet. Next he'll be saying "Mum I done a nativity play" Aaaaaggghhh!!!! Call me a puritan but I 'ate bad spellin' innit.

Yes my lady!

me as lady penelope
Originally uploaded by rockmother.

My mad friend Dr Michael Bannon sent me this. For some reason he thinks I resemble Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds. I am truly touched.

I'm NOT A Celebrity...Get ME out of here!!

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here should be re-titled:

I'm An E-list has-been fuckwit - Kick Me or

I'm Someone No-one Actually Knows or Cares About - Please Leave Me Here

F*@cking hell, I've just had to endure half of tonight's I'm A Celebrity... due to sadly obsessed stepson who made us watch it. Feel strangely defiled by having to ingest such utter inanity. From where I'm sitting you have to be

(a) really desperate to go on it and have no sense of self-worth
(b) have just come out of re-hab (like we give a shit)
(c) need to go back to re-hab
(d) have no career whatsoever (apart from big-teeth Janet - she is an intelligent person - what's she doing??)
(e) be boring in the extreme

Is there no end to reality dross on tv ? I watched the first Big Brother and a bit of the second series although I blame childbirth for that. After having my child I used to sit up breastfeeding at two in the morning watching crap Jerry Springer/Judge Judy/Ricki and anything I could set my eyes on on cable. I think the lack of sleep and plummetting hormones made me secretly want to be trailer trash. I'm better now - obviously otherwise I would have gaily sat through tonight's pile of poop and really enjoyed it. Oh, and I can't believe that broken boy band saddo Brian Harvey thinks that a 'proper meal' is a Big Mac and Fries. Get a life mate. Take me back to the sanatorium - it was nice and fluffy and warm there........

I'm Back!!

I'm not really sure whether any one has ever read my blog apart from myself checking it for comments. But for those whoever have - I am back. I haven't really been away but had a bad attack of blog panic and couldn't bring myself to post anything for the last few months.

Check out my rockmother photostream @ flickr for a little random visual commentary of what I've been up to whilst blogsilent.

Bear with me, I'm still learning about blogging and am probably very behind the times in terms of bloggers etiquette etc. I am ashamed to admit that I only got broadband 6 months ago. Next - I am going to build my own website - don't hold your breath - it isn't imminent.

Currently wallowing in my newly purchased Stranglehold! 18 punk classics cd - a bargain £4.99 at HMV. I can only play it when no one else is in the house as I get comments such as 'what a pile of shit' and 'what a load of crap' et al....well, I don't think so - at least I was listening to it the first time round and not copying it really badly like some bands around these days.

I did something for the first time this week: I went to play 12 games of bingo at the Camberwell branch of Gala Bingo Halls to celebrate my friend Alex's birthday. Quite confusing at first and embarrassing as I turned up in posh coat and without my very own fat pen. Not a good look. I was amazed at how thick the air was with smoke and even more amazed to see a man wheezing heavily with a ventolin asthma inhaler placed neatly by his game card just in case! I did think to tell him there was a non-smoking tier upstairs but then I realised everyone was smoking fags and dope up there as well. I drank 2 pints of fantastically cheap lager and had a packet of crisps. I didn't win anything but it was a classy night out. I'd go again.

Until the next time.......