Tuesday, September 30, 2008

That Barking Sex Doll PIcture and others from my phone

Yes - they were having a picnic in the NCP car park in Richmond last Wednesday. Insane.

Filming in Barking - oh the beauty.

That sex doll from Barking - strangled with her own arms. I discovered her when I went for a wee. Wasn't nice. But I wee'd all the same.

More poor sex doll from Barking.

Unfortunately I knocked all the precariously placed cans off the shelf with a soft rubber ball at a funfair - much to the delight of my son and to the total bemusement of the stall owner seeing as no one is ever meant to win. Come on Scooby - let's strap you in. He's going 'on holiday' soon. It's a one-way ticket I think.

One of Boy George's entourage outside gay bar Profiles opposite work - quite possibly the worst track suit of all time. D&G leopard polyester reflective nightmare.

Out walking on the Thames embankment with my Dad - I presume it is paint.

The only time I have ever toe'd the line.

My Dad made and stuck this to a bag of birthday presents for me much earlier this year and wonders why he 'got so many funny looks' on the tube while he was carrying it.

Graffiti - haven't got a clue what it all means.

Family with a tiny dog and deep plum hair having an argument outside Carluccio's. Mother kept quiet. I'm not surprised. She looked a bit disappointed too. Weary.


Sunday, September 28, 2008

Fag Sov Ring Go Go Dancers

A big thanks to Mr Planet Mondo for finding this. For years I have kept an unlabelled vhs tape with me wherever I go - from bedsit, from bar to street to bookie (no not really that was from Up The Junction by Squeeze but it's such a great line!) to shared flat, to another shared flat, to one more flat and finally to my own house. We don't have a vhs player that works in the house anymore despite them being un-thrown away and languishing in a cupboard somewhere. It has Tom Jones 72 Special DO NOT ERASE written on it in furious pencil. It has survived and I really must get it transferred to dvd before it gets too old and worn to play properly. Like a sad geek I have trawled the internet into the early hours on many an evening to find the whole programme and have found almost all of it apart from this - which is one of the highlights of the special alongside Tom's duet with Ella Fitzgerald which I posted up last month. Then of course there was Little Richard, Joe Cocker and Johnny Cash. But Sammy Davis Jr's version of Stevie Wonder's For Once In My Life is perfect in every way. I love his voice, his outfit, his fag (he must have put the drink down just out of shot on that occasion), the dancers (the one to his left is/was his wife Altoise) and of course the vertical stripes - who said horizontal stripes are unflattering?

Music and performances like this make me happy.



Saturday, September 27, 2008

Mon Dieu!

Good grief - Iggy Pop wears Crocs in Cannes shocker!

No - you are not allowed to laugh at the stack shoe as he has one leg quite a bit shorter than the other and a really bad back. He may be the only person in the world I have to force myself to forgive for wearing such abominable footwear.


Friday, September 26, 2008

He's A Nut! He's Crazy In The Coconut!

Whatever happened to The Avalanches? They were a great band and Kuntz and Maguire made one of the best videos ever - here it is:

But what does it all mean? Which reminds me - I saw Bobby Gillespie walking through Soho today singing like an absent-minded child in the sun.


Friday, September 19, 2008

A Week In My Brain

Woke up at the weekend with the word obfuscate rattling around my brain. God knows why. I have to go and look it up in the dictionary. Definition: To darken; to obscure; to becloud; hence, to confuse; to bewilder. Kind of sums up my life right now. Weird. Went to work - at some point in the day someone mentioned The Feeling - dreadful band - I then have one of their early hits whirling around my brain torturing me for hours. Then I start wondering whether this means they are a good band after all seeing as I can remember the lyrics practically word for word. I don't like The Feeling - why is this happening?

I have been filming for two days under the crackling pylons of Barking and Dagenham. I am convinced the pylons are making my two fillings hurt. It feels like the Bermuda Triangle of lost London. We were filming in a nature reserve nestling amongst the urban sprawl of flattened factories and remediated land that will become 'Barkingside' - a huge housing estate with a lake in the middle. The nature reserve is an interesting place - I saw porn mags and crisp packets in a glade. I saw a lot of evidence of dumping - sad piles of childrens plastic toys unlovingly entwined with dirty clothes and bottles with old piss in them. I saw apple trees, blackberries and rosehips too. I saw bus stops to nowhere and spoke to the armed police unit that regularly patrol the area. I wasn't sure if this made me feel less or more safe to be honest. Then I went for a wee behind a bush and saw a blow-up sex doll that had been strangled with it's own arms. (I have been trying to upload the picture from my phone but fecking bluetooth packed up). The image of sadistic plastic was more than alarming. I suddenly felt as if I was in an out-take of Blair Witch Project gone wrong and went a bit panicky.

Later I turn my attention to ebay - some how I find myself in a bidding war for these:

I didn't win them. Everytime I bid some arse bid £1.00 more. Finally that arse won - her name is stacey666lee. I hate her and hope she breaks her ankle.

Suddenly it's Monday again and when I wake up I sink back into the pillow thinking 'aaahhh' the weekend. Wrong! It's Monday. Oh the pain. On the way to work I see a lady walking down the road hitching up her skirt. It's Soho - there are all sorts at all times of the morning but for some reason I am dreading walking past her. But I do. Off she goes - hitching and hoiking up her skirt. Her knee flesh wobbles like un-cooked cod. My stomach does a grimacy-flutter and I walk on chanting 'oh no oh no oh no'.

This cheers me up

I must do a podcast soon....I really must.


Sunday, September 07, 2008


Oh dear. I don't think anyone noticed the little girl bottom right who I believe to be possibly one of Sarah Palin's ridiculously named children (Piper (Alpha Disaster), Trig (onometry), Bristol (Cream), Willow (weeping with parents so mad and misguided) and Track (and Field)) gesticulating to a little boy at the Mat-Su's Governer's Annual Picnic. I found this on Sarah Palin's government site. I might have to send it to a national newspaper or two.


Monday, September 01, 2008

Buddy and Stacey - Shotgun

Here are Buddy and Stacey singing Shotgun - with a very young Jimi Hendrix back left moving and a grooving to the kicking track!

Recorded live on Night Train July 1965

And here is mad bad Sarah Palin - she likes a shotgun I heard - to shoot moose and make stew out of it? Perhaps she has some McCain Oven Fries on the side? Here she is with her friends dressed up as moose-seeking Vikings - please no - tell me she doesn't have a chance in hell.

Now where did I put that shotgun?