Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Impending New Year Snog Alert

I just thought I would tell you all that I stared and smirked shamelessly at a man who looked a little like Rob Brydon in Boots today. In his basket was:

2 x large bottles of extra-strength blaster mouthwash
1 x packet of ribbed condoms and
1 x packet of thrush cream

I reckon he might have had a date/is expecting to have a date. My imagination is running overtime as to the necessity for thrush cream.


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Heaven Knows I'm Chrismerable Now!

Well no not really - but I quite like singing that instead of the real version - better than singing all or one of the three versions of Hallelujah that has given me insomnia for the last three days. Finally the manflu, ladyflu and minimanflu has abated. I was very organised despite being on death's door. The tree was up on Dec 5th. See picture of tree - it is an alternative to the usual.

The cards were posted two weeks ago. It's just that I forgot accidently on purpose to get the parsnips as quite frankly they are the devil's food! So I apologise to my Christmas guests but there are lots of other vegetables to eat so don't worry. My signature tipple of tomorrow will be Prosecco with pomegranate - I shall have one for and toast each and everyone of you my glorious blogfriends. Lots of love and chin chin xx

PS: there is an absolutely brilliant piece of writing about Chrizzmarse here if you are at a loose end

PPS: I rather un-Christmasly but with huge satisfaction called a teenager a lumbering idiot in Primark today as she slumpered into my changing cubicle that was most obviously occupied - then I spent the next ten minutes silently giggling to myself. No - I will not be going to heaven but we knew that anyway.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Woop Woop Biohazard

Gracious lummy lawks! Where does the time go? Half of it has been spent dicking around on fartbook and manictwitterchecking whilst getting flu first, then getting rid of it only to infect 'himwhosnoreslikeabison' only to catch manflu back again - but MUCH WORSE this time around. Last night was spent in two sets of pyjamas and woolly socks and still cold, 8 sneezes in a row and then insomnia from really annoying X Factor Hallelujah songs. So don't come to our house - it looks like this at the mo:

We've got the orange tape and everything. Oh it hurts to breathe. Such delirium has allowed/forced me to watch the following films today in this order:

Jezebel - Bette Davis Southern shocker
Waterloo Road - fantastic wartime London drama
Girls Girls Girls - Elvis looking sexy and fab costumes

The day started with Jeremy Kyle - which for the duration I started to feel much better and really stunningly beautiful and clever compared to the munters on parade with their selfish stupid lives.

Anyway - it's more From the Basement tomorrow on Sky Arts at 22:00 - more shameless plugging but quite frankly - with no one paying me for three months and no job on the horizon apart from going into prostitution with the most fantastic Urban Woo what have I to live for?

Blogpoll: Christmas present for a 7 and a half year old - answers please:
Is it a pair of guinea pigs or a Nintendo DS? Would I be the most horrible and boring parent in the world to go for guinea pigs? Would he wonder after 30 mins 'where the real present is'?
I have so far avoided technology apart from a Leapster which he was overjoyed with until he realised it was 'educational'. Oh...I think I know the answer but everyone I know who has given their child a Nintendo DS hasn't spoken to them in the last year as they are always head first in the DS...mind you if very big record co corporation don't pay up by this week it will be a wooden hoop and an india rubber ball from the pound shop!!

And on that note - here is Cher with Half Breed (thanks to Namalee for enlightening me):

Sayonara you poppy little gypsies tramps and thieves!


Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I Am Alive - Watch This

I am alive - just been horribly busy finishing off the 'best music show on tv' (according to a journalist from The Guardian and The Telegraph today - Pick of the Day if you must know). First airing of the second series of From the Basement starts TONIGHT at 22:00!! Set those topboxes to record. If you are in the UK please tune in to Sky Arts tonight and even if you haven't got Sky you can receive Sky Arts on Virgin cable too I believe - how good is that?

Sky Arts 1 – channel 256
Sky Arts 2 – channel 257
Sky Arts HD – channel 258

Also on Virgin Media:
Sky Arts 1 - on channel 284 and Sky Arts 2 - on channel 285

If you are in the US then I am afraid you have to wait until January to watch it all on IFC. And if you haven't got a telly you can check out our fab new Youtube channel here.

Here are the times and the running order:
3 Dec Gnarls Barkley, Sparks, The Kills

10 Dec My Morning Jacket, The Fall, White Denim

17 Dec Iggy and The Stooges, CSS and Shortwave Set

24 Dec Radiohead, Andrew Bird, Fleet Foxes
31 Dec The Raconteurs, Seasick Steve, Band of Horses

7 Jan Queens of the Stone Age, Terry Callier and Mercury Rev

More championing wifflings from Sky Arts here and my lovely and clever friend Mof here

Here's a picture of me looking tired and saggy and Iggy looking away from my chest/charmingly bored!