Monday, January 29, 2007

Lovely Peter Jones

I was listening to a radio programme the other day about the possible demise of Sloane Square as we know it. Some evil 'planners' are 'planning' to turn it into a pedestrianised, re-ordered traffic system of satan. Lots of local (read resident arty-farty media types) people have got together to protest against the intended changes and are trying to block the proposal for good. They have got a bit of a fight on their hands what with Kensington and Chelsea being one of the most corrupt boroughs in London.

The thing is, Sloane Square should really stay as it is. The central 'square' hasn't particularly changed for donkeys and the flowerseller with his little green gloss-painted cabin has been there as long as I can remember. I went to a hateful secondary school around the corner and he was the first thing I'd see as I shambled out of the tube each morning. And then there is Peter Jones of course. You can't go wrong with Peter Jones. It's a lovely shop with very nice people serving in it. You feel automatically a little invalided and cared for as soon as you enter the shop. It's a proper practical department store. I laughed when I heard a comment from Betjeman about Peter Jones as it sums it up perfectly: he said that if anything ever awful were to happen, like the dreaded three-minute warning or a hostile invasion of some sort - he would run to seek shelter in the warmth and comfort of Peter Jones haberdashery department as it's the sort of place where nothing horrible ever happens there. Brilliant.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

This Is quite Amusing

A message from the future from me.

Slightly off-the-wall - nicked from Geoff. I didn't ask for glasses - they just gave me them.

Think I've gone mad? Not quite but getting there.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Yo Shorty - it's yo birthday (© 50 Cent)

Hello peeps

I'm putting these up for Pod.

He is a great photographer and splendid prolific blogger. Lately we have been discussing British photographer Martin Parr. I happen to own a couple of Parr prints - here they are - I love them. I bought them at his
1997 Common Sense exhibition at the Rocket Gallery in Albemarle St in London. 100 prints tacked up onto the walls as they were - no frames - and all for sale. I bought the sandals
one first and then saw the slightly
feeble lunchbox and had to have it.
I went into overdraft to do it and had to live on practically nothing for at least two months but I'm still glad I did.

Here are a few photo's I've taken myself that look a bit Parr-esque.
Prepare yourselves for tipsy blogging ahead - it's my birthday tomorrow (ancient! please no congratulations) and I am going out and therefore might resort to the cyber version of drunken dial - you have all been warned. xx

Nighty night all. Sleep well.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Munterspace...I mean Myspace

Now you all know why I call it munterspace. There I was minding my own business on myspace music browsing for interesting tunes and then I get this:

hey how are you?i am antonio,guy from sevilla spain.i am 24yo. still new on this site and looking for some people to chat. do you have instant messenger?i use msn and yahoo. i dont have photo here on this site but i have webcam so you can see me on it if u want. hope you'll reply to my message. bye for now:)

and he calls himself Naughty Tony. I have to say I'm almost tempted but really - he is almost as bad as the 22yr old gun freak from Utah a few weeks back who asked me if I was into younger guys because he was into older women. Thanks a fucking bunch Bozo! His listed interests were Slipknot (the WORST band ever in the whole world apart from The Doollies), guns, black metal, older women. So I wrote back and asked him what exactly had happened in his childhood that made him want to have sex or cybersex for that matter with older women? There was a pause of at least 10 mins while he obviously went into a blue funk. He then falteringly typed back that he wouldn't like to say, I mean he didn't really know and that it's ok he doesn't want to be my 'special friend' anymore. Perfect.

Vote for Munter of the Week here.

Friday, January 19, 2007

It's Very Un-Me But....

I joined the gym last week.

It's ok - the novelty hasn't worn off yet although I hate the cross-trainer already. I went backwards on it on the first go and didn't even realise. I must have looked like a prize chump.
I've already sussed out who are the ones that are obsessed and live in the gym. There's a meathead in the gym bit who is already there each time I go and is still there by the time I leave whatever time or day of the week. He prances around as if he has an onion up his bottom and lifts really heavy weights in a very controlled manner. Then he moves onto the cross-trainer and puts it on the vertical hill impossible setting and works out on his tiptoes, winceing and sweating as if in real pain. What a plonker. There is a much quieter room upstairs (next to the bar - I'll get onto that) with lots of exercise bikes in it. The first time I went there was a man on the farthest bike by the window who looked like he had had a bucket of water poured over him so much so that the bike was covered in his sweat and a puddle was forming on the floor. Horrendous. When I went the other day there was no one in the room which meant I had it to myself. I glanced over to the bike where he was last time and then realised I must have just missed him as there was a huge puddle of water at the base of the farthest bike. Disgusting! Next time I see him I'm going to ask him to clean up after himself! And yes - it has a pool and a dance studio thing (no I won't be going in there unless they are doing Bus Stop classes see above) and squash courts (no thanks) and a bar! It's lovely. It's right at the top of the building and has a semi-panoramic view of the outside, newspapers, fully stocked wide semi-circular bar and nice squashy leather sofas - so when you are gasping after burning 300 calories and cycled the equivalent of half the Tour De France you can just stagger upstairs and undo it all by having a lovely glass of something. I was good - I had a fizzy water. (And a glass of wine when I got home). Of course.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Everybody Do The Bus Stop

Thanks to Roberta Swipe's latest most fantastic podcast I did this in my kitchen earlier today.
Couldn't help it. Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) also does a fine bus stop in Boogie Nights.
Mine's the 33 to Richmond. Everybody do the bus stop!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Hi! I'm Barry Scott! And this is Cillit Bang - the remix!

Barry Scott - what a god!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Can Everyone Stop

talking about taramasolata and mouldy hoummous. I know I started it but I'm feeling much better thank you but am at risk of vomming all over again after all those vividly descriptive comments.

Thank you very much for all your concerns and descriptions. I am actually that much better I am having a glass of red wine (there's a surprise!) in training for tomorrow's little gathering.

So if anyone gets there before me mine's a large glass of quality French/Spanish or Chilean red - no Aussie or revolting US tanninjuice please!

Merci beaucoup. x

Friday's Top Tip

Never eat fizzy taramasalata. I did last night. I sort of knew it tasted funny but was so hungry I carried on. Thankfully I didn't eat all of it but even so - crashing blinding headache and nausea within two hours of eating. That'll teach me.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

This Is What Happens

when you are naughty in our house.

For Sir Anthony and anyone else who needs to snigger today

Yes - I've been looking for this for years. Here it is in all its glory - Mr JP himself doing avant-garde dance on old BBC Riverside Programme. What IS he doing and what WAS he thinking of?


Yes - it's a big plug. If you like good music then all go here - the first from Roberta Swipe (wayward schizophrenic sister of Bob). She's stolen all Bob's records and taken them to LA. She's really famous and plays golf with Alice Cooper and Marilyn Manson although I think he only caddied yesterday as he was a bit upset about his divorce. Anyway - check it out pop-pickers - it's lumming good.

Here are ten things I've been meaning to blog about but didn't because I got too caught up commenting and amassing a huge pile of detritus to put up on yawnbay.

1. Charlie Drake finally popping his clogs.

He was in the same Twickenham nursing home as Fluff and Norman Wisdom. An absolute unique living gem of a bygone era. At least they are now all together chortling away in poptastic comedy special heaven.

2. My shock and horror having to witness Amy Winehouse massacring Monkey Man on Jools Holland at New Year. That part of the show should be aired in all schools to show children the first-hand and immediate effects of drugs and drink.
It was a shocker. And why did she keep hitching up her dress like a music hall scrubber? Although......her Don't Go To Strangers duet with dodgy-haired Weller at the end was a peach.
Before and after eating disorder etc is a bit rough isn't it? Let's hope she gets better soon.

3. The Apple i-phone is here.
I hate being seduced so easily by technology but it really does look good on the site. Cafe Del Nightmare has a good piece on it here. I'll probably only get round to getting one when my Nokia packs up - I hate all this must get the latest phone nonsense.

4. US airstrikes on Somalia - don't get me started!

Can someone just kill Bush - it would be so much easier.
I took this photo in Hackney last year. Dismop are a punk band by the way.

5. The fact that both Barbera (of Hanna Barbera) and Iwao Takamoto (legendary animator of Scooby Doo, Flintstones et al) died within a month of each other.
Their output and artistry was phenomenal. My photo doesn't really do it justice what with the double-take homo-erotic theme I seemed to catch on the fly. Oh well. There was a subtext to Scooby after all. If it wasn't for those pesky snoopin' kids.

6. And panicking slightly
as my Dad is starting a blog - it's called wet paint. I'll link to it when it's up and running.

7. David Bowie is 60. Happy Birthday Dave.

You are still bloody cool. This is Steven Spratt - he's a top Bowie lookalike just in case you were wondering.

8. I got mildly excited as I thought Little Chef might be history or left to rack and ruin like this one in Norfolk.

but it's been saved at last knock-ins. If they could do one thing - I wish they could stop all of their food tasting like heavily fried bread and your clothes smelling of heavily fried bread after having nipped in to use the loo!

9. Currently listening to Gasoline Alley by Rod Stewart. Lovely.

10. Planning a new podcast. Watch this space.

Ok off back to photograph the huge mound of detritus I'm selling on ebay. Can't stand it - people ask you such annoying questions. Would it fit in my car? Can you put in a cab to Withenshawe? Would my blind niece like it? Aaaarrrrggghhhh!

Friday, January 05, 2007

I've Made the Top Ten!

Thank you pop-pickers for listening and voting for me on slutbitch.

I'm currently ranking no10 in the Top 50 most favourite pods.

Not arf.